me and meow

Nothing else matters

2008-11-28T17:37:00.002+09:00

its difficult to say but true.

i think no one will ever be able to understand me. no one.

im afraid of what they will see.

there will never be anyone as understanding as i would like. never

Suede- Everything Will Flow

2008-09-19T23:11:00.000+08:00

Watch the early morning sun
drip like blood from the day
See the pretty people run
so many games to play
See the blue suburban dream
under the jetplane sky
Sleep away and dream a dream
life is just a lullabyby

Oh, and everything will flow
Oh you know everything will flow
Oh

Watch the day begin again
whispering into the night
See the pretty peple play
hurrying under the light
A million cars a million trains
under the jetplane sky
Nothing lost and nothing gained
Life is just a lullabyby

Oh and everything will flow
Oh I said everything will flow
Oh you know everything will flow
Oh

Oh and everything will flow
Oh you know everything will flow
The neon lights in the night tonight
will say"everything will flow"
The stars that shine in the sky tonight***
know "everything will flow"
The lovers kissed with an openness
will say "everything will flow"
The cars parked in the hyper market
know "everything will flow"

back to the 90's

2008-09-15T13:21:00.001+08:00

End Is The Beginning Is The End
-Smashing Pumpkins

Send a heartbeat to
The void that cries through you
Relive the pictures that have come to pass
For now we stand alone
The world is lost and blown
And we are flesh and blood disintegrate
With no more to hate

Is it bright where you are
Have the people changed
Does it make you happy you're so strange
And in your darkest hour
I hold secrets flame
We can watch the world devoured in it's pain

Delivered from the blast
The last of a line of lasts
The pale princess of a palace cracked
And now the kingdom comes
Crashing down undone
And I am a master of a nothing place
Of recoil and grace

Is it bright where you are
Have the people changed
Does it make you happy you're so strange
And in your darkest hour
I hold secrets flame
We can watch the world devoured in it's pain

Time has stopped before us
The sky cannot ignore us
No one can separate us
For we are all that is left
The echo bounces off me
The shadow lost beside me
There's no more need to pretend
Cause now I can begin again

Is it bright where you are
Have the people changed
Does it make you happy you're so strange
And in your darkest hour
I hold secrets flame
We can watch the world devoured in it's pain
Strange
Strange
Strange

choices

2008-09-15T12:49:00.002+08:00

Don't have anything in your life you can't walk away from in an instant.
-Michael Stone

Sometimes i wonder about the various choices i make in my life.

Seems that i keep making wrong choices whatever i do. Nothing seems to have gone right for me since setting down in Michigan. Wait listed for units, stuck in this screwed up housing situation, and missing out on the UWA summer school opportunity due to my absence from school back in Perth.

Its hard to be positive when all this shit piles up in front of you like a never ending story of trouble and problems. It isn't helping when the ones closest to you give you problems as well. I really dont need this nonsense right now. The last thing i want is someone adding on to my problems and thats all thats been happening so far. So what if ive been angry and pissed off at everything? Who wouldnt? Its just my way of dealing with things!

You hold up so much expectations of people that when they fall short you just invariably get dissapointed at what you find. That there truly is no one you can depend on but yourself. Who better to justify your own actions, your own reasons but yourself? Who better to understand the deepest psyches, the faults, the wrongs than looking one's reflection in a mirror?

god damn it

Day One

2008-08-19T09:17:00.004+08:00

Been sometime since I last blogged. Havent seen a reason to, but now I guess there is.

I can safely say I am nicely tucked in my apartment, after the hustle and bustle of the past few days.

Slept only a few hours on Saturday night. Took my own sweet time to pack, and in between the rounds of Element TD and packing, the hours passed. Hit the bed only at 3.10 am, and set the clock for a mere 50 minutes later. We got to the airport, looking forward to a speedy check in, but this greeted us instead:

KAN NI NA

Seems that there were a shitload of other people taking the same flight. The huge crowds around the check in counter were the send-off armies of, I assume, some dragon year kids flying off to the states to study.

Just like me.

But I’m different, am I?

Anyway it was a 3 plus hour flight to Hong Kong for my first stop. Nothing much to see there, except the Honkie version of Guardian which I found amusing:

I assumed that I was going to have hard time on the plane given the flight length (longest airplane journey ever in my life), so I decided to invest in a few books. Bought Stephen King’s Duma Key, and a Sudoku book. The latter proved to be more useful of the 2, allowing me to burn an our or so in Chicago where my flight was delayed. As for Duma Key, I haven’t started on it, and I don’t know whether I will…….

The flight from Hong Kong to Chicago was hell. Firstly, the fucking Honkie that checked my handcarry luggage was a total NAZI. In front to a long line of people, she fucking pulled a BMT all-in-all-out routine, emptying the contents of my bags for the fucking world to see. And to add insult to injury she even got me to take my shoes off and check them, AND got me to switch on my laptop.

So what the hell now. My laptop’s a bomb? Give me a break.

United has absolutely no inflight entertainment, and the movies they played on the overhead projectors in the plane were cheesy and were honestly fucked up. Not to mention that for the first half of Prince Caspian, the projector was shaking like a bellydancer. Tried to do some Sudoku, but I felt too drained. Instead I sought comfort in the confines of my own head, trying to get some sleep here and there.

Which actually worked.

I dove in and out of sleep, waking up for meals, snacks and drinks, and watched the odd show here and there. Getting off the plane was a relief. And to my surprise, clearing US customs was not as hard or as difficult as the immigration people made it out to be. It was a pleasant surprise. Checked in my baggage and headed to Chicago Terminal 2 to wait for my connecting flight to Detroit. I was bloody thirsty so I hit the first joint I could see for a drink. Starbucks! Had an Iced Tea with Lemonade. Slightly Sweetened.

Iced Tea with Lemonade. Sounded alien when it was on the board. Must have been the fatigue kicking in because its nothing more than ICE LEMON TEA MAH.

Burned half an hour queuing for macdonalds, and ate a grilled chicken burger. Not bad. The patty was real grilled chicken and it was huge. Along with a slab of bacon, cheese and lettuce, it was a welcome snack. (They forgot to remove the mayo, the bastards)

Burned 2 hours after that watching Hustle on my laptop. Wanted to hook up onto the internet, but the opportunists that run Chicago O Hare charge for Wi Fi even though there are so many signs that say “WI-FI enabled in the terminal”. Sans the word “Free”, I could only plug in my laptop to charge the batteries and be entertained by Mickey Stone, Danny Blue and gang.

Hit the gate at 5 plus as the flight was due at 535 pm. Delay.

Many of the passengers there were visibly agitated at the delay, because it was nearly 9 before we were able to get onto the flight. Sitting there for those few hours, I realized something. The Sudoku book was actually able to keep me there for 2 -3 hours, glued to the puzzles and not lose my cool. I think maybe in this case Sudoku actually works for me as a concentration builder. Try it! You never know………

Got off at Detroit and got into a cab. Got into more drama again.

The cab was a van, and I had one guy with me who apparently needed to be dropped off at one of the airport terminals. When he got off, he got into a quarrel with the taxi driver. He refused to pay for the trip because the taxi driver wanted to charge him 18 bucks for a 5 minute ride. And the taxi driver was actually pissed off.

Thick nigger skulls does not equal brains.

We had trouble finding the Northwood apartments, even with GPS enabled in the taxi. The nigger actually went into a closed street, and got STOPPED BY THE COPS.

A taxi driver stopped by cops. That was a really lucky day.

Waited ten minutes for him to settle the summon, then proceeded to the Northwood apartments. The problem was, I did not arrange for my keys to be picked up after hours, and the office was closed. Well, this was because I did not anticipate my flight to have such an extraordinary delay. To put it simply, I was screwed. No key, no place to sleep for the night, and worse of all NO TRANSPORT. Accosted an other student and asked for his help. Toshiya-san’s a Stats PHD student who drives an Accord and listens to Sum 41. Nice guy. He helped my make some calls, but it seems the Residential Assistants, ( here they call them Aides) don’t have master keys for the apartments. Asked Toshiya-san if I could crash at his place, but he actually called a friend who had a spare room to put me in for the night. Ended up somewhere else, and bummed the night over there.

spaced out

2008-04-26T23:28:00.002+08:00

nearly the end of the one week break. havent got anything done at all. seems that after the essay was handed in on thu ive been in a state of relative inactivity. dosent help that i have a 1000 work critical reflection due on thu and a presentation due on friday.

its so cold outside. and im going to the laundromat's to dry my rug and laundry in a while

we create our memories ourselves

la femme nikita

hiatus

2008-04-23T23:32:00.003+08:00

its been a hell of a shitty three months. i am finally back on the grid after one and a half hours of trying to configure the wireless router in my home. when i look at this blog i wonder......

so much has gone on in my life that it has just been a whirlwind. as it is i have a 40% essay due tomorrow, but i just feel the urge to write again after so long.

in a nutshell.....

i rented a house last november before i came back to perth

the owner wanted the house back so me along with my 2 housemates were "evicted"

one of my housemates ended up being an indecisive prick so we split

i found another housemate.

moved in to this new place in mid march

the house is old. we spent a shitload of $$ pimping it up, with curtains, plumbing, furniture and decorative furniture

am now alone as the 2 people i care about the most here in perth are back in SINGAPORE for the study break. knn.

am going to sell my car.... because i have been accepted for exchange next semester to Michigan!

what else? that i realise how much i still miss my friends back in singapore. yes. if ur reading this you know who you are you pricks. you guys r prolly sitting for ur exams this week. best of luck.

why?

2008-01-24T00:51:00.000+09:00

seems every time i open this blog up to write i am always plagued with questions. endless questions to which i have no answer to. i keep asking myself question after question, and it only leads to en endless maze of questions. i keep asking myself what it is i really want, and i cannot seem to give myself a satisfactory answer. every time i tell myself i will not make the same mistake again, not do the same things wrong time after time...........

but it still remains the same. there is no difference. i can never rest easy, i can never have any peace.

so many unanswered questions, so many things unsaid.

i think its really time to get serious

Why?

2007-12-10T21:53:00.001+09:00

many people ask why, i give my reasons.

sometimes i wonder why myself- i ask myself a thousand times about things and i always end up giving myself the same answers, drawing myself circles in the sand.

it's been a week at work, and its getting to me. somehow on the morning bus ride, when you see the crowds come go, ebb and flow like tides breaking upon a shore, you wonder to yourself, sitting there on the bus, what it all means, what it is all for.

then when the lights go down, and the office dries itself of the living sould that inhabit it during the day, when you step out into the cold and darkness, you see the same sights- the long sleeved power dressed folk heading to their cars, and loading up buses to, hopefully catch that bus home.

then i ask- what is the point?

singapore's roads are littered with flashy cars and numberplates. singaporeans are a fucking rich bunch.

singapore's shopping centres are loaded to the brim with the stink and filty of capitalist cronies lapping up the designer and the posh in an neverending shopping spree of useless winter jackets, branded shoes, and the fruitless search for that perfect christmas gift.

this is where singaporeans spend their money on. excesses of a lifestyle determined by the flashes of a CRT/plasma screen, and fleshed out in the likeness of skinny models adorning the pages of a magazine.

then, looking at it all, i wonder...........

is this the life i want?

is this the life i want for my children?

you brought me up, you showed me life and you taught me what it is i know.

at the same time u fucked with 2 years of my life and washed it down the drain.

you bring me up in a system that is flawless, that exemplifies the perfect way of teaching the young, then you kick my ass down to ground zero with ur elitist standards.

to be honest, ive had enough of you. fuck you and your nepotism.

fuck all of you snotty bastards wearing whitewash

goddamn you.

back

2007-11-27T00:43:00.000+09:00

made it back a couple of days ago. the plan trip was good, thanks to the company of one of my future housemates! conversation was good, and the flight was smooth.

pretty much been eating alot of the stuff ive wanted to. but in a way its funny. when i was over there i made up so many mental lists about the things i was going to do but suddenly when faced with the reality im stopped short.

so far the scoreboard on MAKN1102 is,

1- pasta from bukit timah
2- porridge from bukit timah
3-chicken rice from clementi
4- beach road bak chor mee
5- pontian wonton mee
6-nydc cheesecake and pasta
7- PS back chor mee
8- crystal jade lamian

thas a damn small list, i say....

oh well...........

27th------the first of dec is in sight. not only are my friends free of their shackles, but she will be coming over too!

i miss you. come back soon!

to you

2007-11-27T00:28:00.000+09:00

ive always wanted to blog this but i never seemed to be able to take the time

its strange that probably you will not know about this- read these words ever

but i think in a way its a way of letting myself know, perhaps now, perhaps in the future, that soemwhere along thel ine, somewhere in my life, i felt this way.

this is one of the beauties of blogging. you look back after weeks, months, years, and you reflect on ur life as if you were living it again. thats is the most powerful thing a blog can do for us. it can take one moment in time and capture it for eternity.

that i am blogging this is perhaps due to tha fact that you messaged me today. its probably nothing- you probably do that to every one of your friends, but to me it was, it is, different.

i actually did have a thing for you once, and maybe i still do. but everything ive seen, everythign ive experienced, in a way, perhaps, tells me that its probably impossible. which is sad because in this i tried to push fate, but instead i got shoved in another direction.

i think the fate between you and i has ended. i will never occupy that space in your heart that you occupy in mine. you will always be here, surely. but i will never be in yours.

therefore i will not push fate any longer. it has shown me that it can only do so much for me, no more.

will i see you again?

My precious

2007-11-08T17:31:00.000+09:00

i love her

needs some TLC though- Currie Hall isnt exactly a nice place to park with the trees and dirt.......

Mistubishi Lancer 1997

Auto, 1.5 L, Met Blue Coupe, full electrics, power steering, central locking, Pioneer Radio

LING 1103 and a Hero

2007-11-06T20:02:00.000+09:00

i have linguistics exam tomorrow.

it hit me like a bolt of lightning.

the Haitian from Heroes can speak. In English, as well as, surprisingly, French, to Angela Petrelli. Which is actually not that amusing or surprising. How?

Haitian Creole and Standard French are examples of how two languages in a community are specialised to formal and informal uses. No prizes for guessing which one is used for which.

In linguistic jargon, this is a form of Extended Diglossia, where there is a presence of two speech variants: a vernacular dialect of the lower variety, and a higher variety that is of a formal standard, divergent such that it needs to be learnt.

Now thats y the power negating botak is fluent in French! Aha!!

good luck to me. good luck to all of us. oh and watch Heroes!!!

My new commitment

2007-10-29T15:15:00.000+09:00

when you are committed you are bound by a promise, a contract.

that you will treat her well, and take good care of her

she may be a bit old, but still loves you

mmmmm.....

watch this space!

You are under arrest

2007-10-23T09:47:00.000+08:00

German police capture escaped crayfish on street

Oct 23 2007

BERLIN - GERMAN police had to round up a cluster of crayfish after the crustaceans broke out of an Asian food shop and scuttled down the street, police in the southwestern city of Stuttgart said on Monday.

A surprised pedestrian notified authorities after seeing the crayfish crawling down the road early on Sunday, a local police spokeswoman said.

They had escaped by squeezing through gaps in the grating on their tanks and leaving by the store's front door, which had been left ajar. -- REUTERS

Church, get a GODDAMNED LIFE

2007-10-22T13:08:00.000+08:00

Dont say i didnt warn you. I have put adequate space in this post so you can navigate away.

Because in the following post i give totally NO REGARD to being courteous. I say whats on my mind and it is something that is, in my opinion, very cutting and blunt. Read the title of this post again. This post is structured somewhere along this lines. If you cant accept it, then navigate away. I have given you enough warning and you have a choice.

See! Even i know how to respect people's choices even though this is pretty much MY blog.

How nice of me. Cant say the same about SOME people though.

Till now all i have done is to point out critical flaws in Christianity.

If you are a christian and you find this post offensive then you should. Because i damn well have been bleddy offended by the way some churches do things myself. Bite the bullet.

Dont give me any crap about generalisations and that "oh no not all churches are like that". Im not listening to any reason that is potentially hindered by an inherent hindsight bias.

Up till now, what i have ranted about is based on personal opinion, and there have not been issues that i am not able to live with, issues that have affected me directly. These are my opinions, and are pretty much isolated.

But today, i learnt something else. It affects people, whether u choose to or not.

Who gives a fucking church, a teeny ORGANISATION, any right to dictate how their members should live their lives?

What gives the church any right to interfere with how an individual chooses to live his life? On what BASIS is this claim being made? Based on religious teachings? So then do i pay 10% tax to the church also? Its also within teachings wad.

Fucking control freaks. Not only does the church dictate what goes on in the minds of men, it also dictates how people should live their life. Not in the figurative sense, but a literal sense.

So if u go to church, you should not dress like a goth and listen to heavy metal cos heavy metal is satanic?

This is the problem with religion. RELIGION IS NOT A WAY OF LIFE!!! You can NEVER control individuals' way of living! If even parents dont have a problem with this why should an organisation be any different? How close can mere strangers in an organisation be when compared to one's parents?

Unless of course you dont mind forsaking ur parents for your God and ur lofty ideals. Then i dont care. Just dont butt ur ass into my affairs. I take this personally if it interferes with MY way of life. And it has, today.

If religion is your way of life then its not my business. Dont involve me in your irrationalities. Just know where to draw the line between religion and being a total fucking busybody.

Yes, i may be critical of religion

Yes, sometimes i get carried away and rabble off about how christianity simply sucks

But i dont impose what i believe on you, do i?

Perhaps im a hypocrite for saying all these, but i think at the very least i am tolerant.

Ok to me its an irrationality. Ok to me it is hogwash. BUT if u believe in it then thats ur issue! I dont have a PROBLEM WITH YOU BELIEVING IN WHAT YOU WANT TO BELIEVE.

IT becomes a problem when what you believe interferes with MY way of life.

Get a Goddamned life and smell the coffee. Religion isnt everything.

Oh wait but it is! Cell groups are so fun! WE have games and stuff............................................

A new hero has risen

2007-10-13T11:31:00.001+08:00

People all around the globe find that they are capable of extraordinary things

This morning something happened.

I think i might be one of them.

It was in the morning, at the workplace. I was making pies, when suddenly i blacked out for 2 seconds at the cooker. When i opened my eyes my hands were on the cooker. Thinking nothing was wrong, i opened the cooker, and to my utter surprise i saw this........

holy shit

the symbol freaked the hell out of me.

i closed my eyes and thought i was dreaming. i then put my hand on the pie.....and this happened

the pie changed. i dont know how but it did!

i shall explore my powers today.

beware. be very afraid.

The Perth Royal Show

2007-10-05T20:07:00.001+08:00

In town for one week only! Perhaps the most amazing funfair i have ever been to!

Rides, displays, stalls, games, performances, fireworks! This is something Singapore could really use- a festival once in a year with mind blowing stuff. Ok call me swaku cos i havent really been to much out of the country, but this funfair was a real eye opener.

The stupidest thing i did was to not charge my camera! Took sparing shots, mostly of the animals, which i felt were the highlights......... anyway here goes...

Log Cutting competition and a view of the ferris wheel. Those blokes are strong. Seriously.
The toughest men i have ever seen hacking away at logs to see who does it the quickest!

Canine SOC!

Cat competition! judging felines. In my opinion the highlight of the fair. This ginger's a moggie (no specific breed), but stocky and indeed well built. One of the cutest gingers i have ever seen!

What you starin at, punk!

Stupid old man. STOP POKING MY ASS

judging= molesting?

persian with the characteristic punched in face

Stop looking at me. I wana sleep!

then it was off to the dog show! From the cutest cats to the biggest, BIGASS show winning monster dogs. The biggest canines i have ever seen!

Note the size of the dog relative to the size of an average human girl. The bugger is 80 kg! This bloke's a St Bernard, if i am not mistaken

Fuzzy Alaskan Malamutes. Easily mistaken for Siberian huskies, these guys look like little wolves!

Shiba Inu

Samoyed

Siberian Husky

Another interesting aspect of the fair were the SHOWBAGS that were on sale everywhere. From chocolate showbags to Pirates of the Carribean, they have everything! Interesting stuff. Basically these are bags with plenty of food and gimmicks inside. OF course some of them are simply stuff for kids, but some of these are pretty decent. Bought a Powerade SHOWBAG myself! At 20 bucks, this bag contains:

1- HUGE Powerade Sling bag
2- 500 ml bottle of Powerade (obviously)
3- Coke water bottle
4- Beach Volleyball!
5- Bag of chips
6- Funfair gimmick

Cool stuff, i say.

All in all it was a blast. Period.

you just dislike some people

2007-10-01T20:18:00.000+08:00

yes you do. it is very hard to describe. you just form up an impression in your mind about that person and it sticks. perhaps its the person's body language, or the way that person carries himself, but it is an unshakable thought, that you just...

DO NOT LIKE THAT PERSON

you hardly know him but you just take it from his comments that he is a total fucker. sure, he gets along fine with your other friends, but you just don't seem to wonder why everybody hangs onto his words when he pretty much is, in you opinion...

fucked up

so i'm out for food with my friend, and her friend, lets call him D, happens to also be eating in the same restaurant. she knows D, as hes a friend's friend or something ( i dont really care)

the second D opens his mouth, i know he is the kind of person who talks too much. the superficial kind of motherfucker who thrives on teasing others, a trait that probably stems from his inability to hold a decent conversation with another person.

maybe im just getting defensive, but i think there should be a limit to how much one can joke with another in public. jokes are one thing, but somehow there has to be a limit.

i detest those who talk big.

keep ur fucking trap shut.

chao chee bye.

Why of all things i adore felines

2007-09-26T01:27:00.000+08:00

its funny. in the darkest recesses of my mind i can pull out an image of one of my first impressions of cats. a white fella with pinkish eyes. it was at cuppage food centre back in the eighties. back then it wasnt the shithole it pretty much is now- it had decent food (i guess, judging from the crowds), and was a hot hawker centre with little ventilation and strays runnin around it.

so i stuck my hand out and the bugger clawed me, leaving a mark on my right hand.

of course it may not have been a pounce but a friendly gesticulation, but it scared the shits out of me.

so much for childhood trauma.

perhaps it was seeing them so much at hawker centres and around the neighbourhoods, or just looking at their furry coats, or the expression in their eyes as they looked up at you pleadingly, mewing for food. some might associate them with dirtiness, but somehow these struck a chord in my soul. reaching out and stroking those animals made me feel warm and fuzzy inside.

i still love them today. dirty strays may they be, but to me all cats are beautiful. they are the greatest, cutest, most adorable living things i have ever seen.

olive branches

2007-09-26T01:22:00.000+08:00

a conversation with a friend made me think back and reflect on myself.

but no that changes nothing. its still the same.

but yes. for all intents and purposes i should moderate myself i guess. what makes me any different from them in any case?

thank you my friend.

Organisation

2007-09-24T22:32:00.001+08:00

decided to organise the posts.

my religious rants can be found on a whole new blog.

a link to my serious stuff can also be found there.

thank you for ur continued patronage

On proselytising

2007-09-24T12:42:00.000+08:00

If you are a Christian, and you are reading this post, i challenge you:

1- Can you read these words without a shred of bias towards your own religion?
2- Are you willing to accept the logic of the argument?
3- Or do you just see this as a rant of an unhappy unbeliever?

proselytise

1. To induce someone to convert to one's own religious faith.
2. To induce someone to join one's own political party or to espouse one's doctrine.

Perhaps to understand the act itself, what about breaking the barrier down even more.

Here are definitions for two other words that are of relevance:

faith
- a system of religious belief (one of many definitions)

belief
-something believed; an opinion or conviction

But then by these 2 definitions we see that the very act of definition makes things circular!
Taking a step further: how about the definition of "opinion"?

opinion
-1. A belief or judgment that rests on grounds insufficient to produce complete certainty.

The argument based on definition

1- An opinion does not have complete certainty (from definition above)
2- A belief is an opinion (from definition above)
3- A belief does not have complete certainty (1 and 2, combined)
4- Proselytising involves inducing one to certain beliefs (from definition above)
5- A belief is uncertain (3, reverse double negation)
5- Proselytising involves inducing one to uncertainty (4,5, combined)

This is why proselytising has resulted in conflict and strife. This degree of uncertainty is too great to ascertain the validity of. As such the vast majority is unable to come to a general consensus about how relevant such a belief is, or vice versa. Because of this uncertainty, and resulting failure to come to a general agreement, proselytising becomes nothing more than an act that puts itself in direct opposition with existing beliefs and opinions.

Well, of course the argument is that beliefs are more than just a smear of definitions you put up.

There should be a more human element to beliefs, right? How about the countless lost souls who have found grace through church? Have come to a reconciliation with God thru His voice which spoke to you?

Consider this then. The logic of comfort. I use the analogy of a baby crying. Why does he cry? There are a few possibilities:

1- The baby is hurt
2- The baby is hungry
3- The baby needs to take a shit. BADLY.
4-The baby's diapers are so full of shit it feels downright UNCOMFORTABLE

(Babies are simple. They dont have complex cognitive proceses running thru their heads and they have not yet decided on their best invisible friend, so that's why i chose it as an example)

How can the baby's problems be solved? Simple.

1- Bring him to a hospital- get that cut straightened out
2- Feed him milk!
3- BRING HIM TO THE TOILET (oh you unattentive parent, you...)
4- CLEAR HIS DIAPERS (because he's making a ruckus and its just stinking the house)

As we grow older, and we develop slowly, our needs and wants change. WE can very much fend for ourselves, and procure our own food, take care of ourselves, yada yada.....

As it is with a parent bringin food to a baby. Similarly, religion acts as food to our little minds. It is, as is so often quoted, opiate for the masses. Opiate for the masses that operates on an individual level.

But i dont eat sauce with my burger. And YOU dont like to eat red meat! And YOU are a vegetarian. Can we come to a general consensus? That there is a source of food that EVERYONE can eat? (ok maybe chicken, but what about vegetarians? vegans? monks?)

the answer ish, NO.

You cant force me to eat prairie oysters!

Singaporeans should know best- we know our food well enough to know that that neverending queue for doughnuts is just, well, hype. Or that chicken rice that took half an hour to buy? Perhaps its not as good as your friend vehemently insists it is!

Just like food, there is no universal consensus as to who likes what best. Why should religion be any different?

So dont proselytise.

Of course, unless i want to know more about it myself.

Friends, nakama, friendship

2007-09-23T13:35:00.001+08:00

yew ish my goot brudder.
even ur bak chew O BA KA
or ur bin KANNA SAI
yew still my brudder.

-unknown forwarded sms greeting

So the issue comes up again. After a few months, the people in hall have all drifted into cliques. Typical of singaporeans. Like it was a while back, i looked at the people around me and thought to myself- how many of these people will i actually be in contact with in ten years time? Whats the point of being peachy keen and maintaining the friendlies when i know nobody genuinely gives a shit?

But its true. The guys are desperate losers, the girls lack any semblance of EQ and everybody here just cares about themselves really. Which is kind of sad because you wonder really what the word friend entails. I prefer the word 'person' or 'acquaintance'. It makes the line between people more defined.

Then again i have never hoped for anything, have never expected anything from anyone. If i ever felt unhappy, ive come to reflect that it has all been because of me putting too much trust and emphasis on the way people would look at me as a friend, and that has been grossly overestimated. Those who i genuinely gave a shit about dont even care or are just simply oblivious to everything. But as it is with life its worth taking a pinch of salt with and moving on.

Thus i offer a solution to emotional problems. To relationship problems. And let me provide an analogy.

In Mahjong, technically speaking, the dealer has the first advantage over the other players, by virtue of the fact that he draws one extra tile. But then what if he keeps getting shitty draws? He might have to depend on someone else to provide him with the tiles needed to win- IE a chi or a pon. What is nobody's that charitable?

So at the end of the day, the most powerful driving factor behind winning a mahjong hand is not the cards that come out. Sure, you are able to stall opponents winning hands by use of observation and pure skill, but these mean nothing if......

you get draws that are powerful. In short, people would say that ur 'luck is good'. The phrase i use for this is that one should always 靠自己. Depend on urself to win. Dont expect that the 5 pairs in your hand will become that 对对+混一色+ 1台 = 满台 that you are so wishing to get. What if nobody feeds you the pairs. Now, if you change that hand to a hand that is composed of kongs/kans, how much more ideal!

At the end of the day, one should always depend on his own draws. Do not expect the player in front of you to give you the tile needed to complete that 1-3 wait or 9-8 single wait.

Likewise, in life, as it is in relationships, do not depend on others and bank on their reactions and their actions. Its not a worthy investment. There are no guaranteed returns and each deposit carries with it a high risk of failure. Depending on yourself is the surest way you can ensure that your investment caries with it the maximum risk protection.

Cos if you dont give a shit about urself who will?

(Nah, actually i know of others who WILL give a shit. But theyre not here in perth. So ill have to depend on myself to draw that last card needed to complete my 十三么。 )

Supper!

2007-09-23T00:54:00.000+08:00

supper was so good(t) i nearly wana cry.

Continental instant soup with.......

a serving of bread from the dining hall topped off with......

ROMA TOMATOES!! They are so fresh i can cry...........

Roma tomatoes are fucking good!!! I think i am infatuated with those red weenies.

The trick is to cook it with slight low heat. IE, pour boiling water over them or cook them in hot water for no more than a minute. There should be a slight tear in the skin of the tomato, like a slit.

That is goodness.

Still have some chicken stock cubes left. Perhaps i will try making some beef in chicken stock with the rest of my roma tomatoes.

ROMA TOMATOES! I LOVE THEM!

Herb!!!

2007-09-22T14:40:00.001+08:00

It just came to my mind all of a sudden.

An irrelavancy.........

OREGANO

oregano is a form of wild majoram.

The leaves are spicily sweet, very faintly peppery and the herb needs to be used carefully or it will dominate all but the strongest of flavours. IT can, for instance, survive the joint competition of olives, anchovies, and cheese. It can be used to advantage with grilled or roasted meats or aded, with discretion, to egg and cheese dishes, salads, dressings and to leafy green vegetables

- Jill Graham, Cooking with Herbs and Spices

I WANA COOK!!!!

Why i dont believe in God

2007-09-22T13:47:00.000+08:00

All i will say here is based on my own personal experience. In my opinion this, more than anything, justifies my stance.

I cannot make myself believe in something i have never felt. 6 years in an environment that promotes the religion still is unable to make me convinced that there is someone up there, a soverign God and the whole message that christians preach. I've felt nothing and to me those who profess to be touched during chapel service are doing nothing more than inducing a state of euphoria onto themselves.

It is that simple. Statements like "but ur from FMSS/AC" and "Everybody goes to Church" and "But i dont want you to go to hell" have absolutely no effect on me. I dont subscribe to ur beliefs so why should i care.

To me this religion comes into conflict, DIRECT conflict with my identity. My identity as a Chinese. I have seen so many instances where christians are unable to make the distinction between RESPECT and RELIGION. Please, if your ancestors did not survive the hardships that they endured during the early years do you think you could wear your sunday best and attend those happening cell groups? No. You do not have to subscribe to the practices to Taosim or Buddhism to show respect to ur elders. IF you cannot make that distinction between the 2 R's, then you deserve to be struck by a thunderbolt.

( i have the utmost disdain for "deathbed preachers". theyre nothing but a bunch of losers, pretty much like vultures picking on scraps of carrion. they are utter TRASH. )

I can never understand why this religion is so fixated on the consequences of a fundamental and the afterlife. Is what happens to us when we die any more important than the way we conduct ourselves as people in our lifetimes? Why should this religion talk so much about the consequences of eternal life at the expense of our present actions?

And of course, i cannot subscribe to something that, in my opinion, is nothing more than a selfish, self-propagating ideology that justifies itself as worthy enough to replace ANY belief system an individual subscribes to.

Not to mention conflict- i've lost people dear to me because of religion, and i have had enough. I have seen families break up because of this "invisible friend" that claims power enough to beat down all other "invisible friends".

Is the worship of an invisible friend more important? Or is the way we treat our TANGIBLE friends and family more important? To me its obvious.

That is why i will never subscribe to it. I never will.

On Mega-churches and religion- namely CHRISTIANITY

2007-09-21T09:18:00.000+08:00

CHRISTIANITY. With so much debate, people should just openly use that word.

It makes things so much easier instead of using the word 'religion' when concerns are very obviously levelled at this particular religion.

Shouldnt it? Why should anything be considered taboo?

Interesting snippets from the Forum today:

Peter Thompson:

AS AN international speaker and educator, I found Dr Lee Bee Wah's comments in her letter, 'Some mega churches affect students adversely' (ST, Sept 19), with regard to children being influenced by 'mega churches', a rather dangerous assertion which needs to be corrected......

(then he says.....)

............What would Dr Lee prefer, youths spending time learning about God or spending time at game arcades and gang gatherings which lead to rioting?

- y so defensive? arent you making an assertion urself? self righteous prick.

Teo Choon Liang:

I am a final-year university student attending what is presumably one of the 'rich' mega churches Dr Lee alluded to. While I sympathise with her feelings of 'losing' her loved ones, I find some of the assumptions and generalisations she made unfair. Firstly, while mega churches in Singapore are active in sharing their faith with the public, they do not target impressionable teenage schoolchildren. As with any religion, it is natural that as Christians we desire to share the joy of our faith with our friends and loved ones.

While church activities do take up time, as a cell-group leader I can vouch that never has the church sought to sow discord in families or influence teenagers to rebel against their parents.

- Causation does not imply correlation. But, what Dr Lee has pointed to is an obvious example of a CAUSATION. Can you say for sure that this is the case for ALL CHURCHES across the globe by the term you use as "the church"? Get your facts right, fat boy

Perhaps the most sensible article i read today is one that takes an impartial stance, by Mr Felix Ang Kok Hou. What he brings out is simple and gets the the basics. He writes:

Why Some people become "lost to Religion"

I REFER to Dr Lee Bee Wah's letter 'Some mega churches affect students adversely' (ST, Sept 19).

It is a common sentiment shared by many people whose family members and friends are 'lost to religion'.

Many new converts to a religion become fascinated with its teachings, charismatic teachers and bonds of fellowship. It's as if the meaning of their lives has been discovered. They devote all their time and effort to study and practise their religion, often isolating themselves from non-believers. The isolations are sometimes deliberate because everything that happens outside their religious grounds and circles suddenly appears unholy. They do not want to be tempted into their previous state of lives. And families and friends find it difficult to dissuade them because religion is a personal choice.

Young converts should investigate and experience for themselves whether the teachings make sense morally and how the teachings can make them better people. They should take note that most religious documents were written many years ago before history was recorded properly. And many religious teachings were delivered orally during times with no modern technology to record the teachings. Many religious teachings were originally written in languages that are no longer used today. Meanings could be lost in translation since there were words available in certain languages and not in others. And finally the contexts in which the teachings were written were vastly different from today's. Cultural, ethnic, racial, social and political forces can shape the development of a religion.

It is also important for these converts to realise that moderation and not extreme zealotry is the better way to sustain them throughout their religious lives. I know people who suffer from 'religious fatigue' after a few years of extreme religious involvement. They eventually lose their faith and release their pent-up emotions on undesirable activities.

Religious extremists do not make good followers. They make terrorists. Major religions, when properly taught, extol good moral values. A good religious man should be able to live a full and integrated life with his faith as the foundation. A holy man is not simply one who walks on holy ground. He is one who can maintain his holiness on all grounds.

...........................................................................

The problem with religion stems from the act of proselytising.

Get it into ur thick skulls. Nobody has any right to make another person believe what he does not want to. Leave it at that. One shoul always be given a rational choice of whether to believe or not to believe. This forms one of Dawkins' major arguments- the influence of religion on the young. As Mr Ang writes, "Young converts should investigate and experience for themselves whether the teachings make sense morally and how the teachings can make them better people. They should take note that most religious documents were written many years ago before history was recorded properly."

But how is it possible for kids to make that distinction? Striking them at their most impressionable? Underhand tactics, i say.

No matter how much religious people may preach about impartiality and freedom, it is but a bad faced lie. Religion that thrives on propagation will never be able to live in harmony with the world at large. It can NEVER be impartial, it can NEVER take a neutral stance. Ur either with them or against them.

One example of how religion is BIASED:

When i was in secondary school, i was told as a kid that i was REQUIRED to attend chapel service. BUT THE MUSLIMS ARE EXCLUDED. Where is the rationality behind that? Is being a Buddhist any less than a Christian or Muslim? Preferential treatment? What the FUCK man seriously. But my agitation at this is tempered by the fact that i DID MAKE A RATIONAL CHOICE to attend a christian school, so i cant really blame the school. BUT BUT BUT.....

WHY NOT THE MUSLIMS!!! ALLAH =/= GOD MEH? Shouldnt there be MORE SIMILARITIES BETWEEN THE BIBLE AND THE QUARAN?

I dont get the logic or the inherent bias.

Then you say- but religion has so many merits and benefits! The moral values, the emotional comfort, etc.

Then i say- why should an ideology, a BOOK CHOSEN BY A COUNCIL OF MEN, be taken to its literal extent? Imagine this- centuries ago, the bible gets compiled, a series of books, of which books are CHOSEN for inclusion.

But i am digressing.

At the end of the day, i believe that religious emphasis should always be slanted towards a singular purpose, that is the development of MORAL values and positive attitudes.

NOTHING MORE

Anything more will only breed conflict

Conversations

2007-09-20T17:37:00.000+08:00

Some interesting conversations-

1- With my boss

(about her kid)

Me: Yeah wait another ten years and ure gona have a tough time

Boss: Yeah, with the boyfriends and girlfriends and everything

Me: Then ur gona get those calls from the principal and teachers.....

Boss: Well, thats whats its like. As long as they do the right thing, go to church and everything im okay. Do you go to church?

Me: Nah I don't

Boss: Thats interesting, everybody goes to church on sundays!

Me: (slightly amused) Well not me..............

2- At the dinner table, discussing a friend's girlfriend.

Me: Wa why so evil one

Friend 1: Really lah you ask him his gf dun like me.

Me: Why? What does she have against you? You too lao lan ah.

Friend: No lah cos i go temple. she hear i go temple then she (makes a disgusted motion with the hands) "eee" already.

Me: Huh? Wtf sia?

Friend: Really lah you ask him

Friend 2 is silent throughout.

The "Island'' Theory and Pascal's Wager- Consequences of Believing in God

2007-09-19T14:34:00.000+08:00

The "Island" theory

This comes from the show of its same name. It is the story about how two individuals escape a microcosm of society that they live in to discover that their society is nothing but a machination created by others. There are many similar science fiction movies with similar existensialist themes, such as the ever popular Matrix franchise, the Thirteenth Floor and Dark City.

This forms the basis for this theory-

How sure are we that the fabric of society as we know it is something that is, for sure, what it really is?

Translate the consequences of religious belief into this, and this is the result-

If we believe in God, but if the above statement holds true (reality as we know it is but a lie), then what can we say about our beliefs? Wouldn't everything we know to be true be nothing more than a fabrication? Can you accept, will you be willing to accept that everything you have believed in for your whole life is nothing but a big fat lie?

The majority of people, i take, would rather be swimming in a sea of blissful ignorance about the truth than accept it for what it truly is. That i would rather live a lie than be told of the awful truth. The best analogy of this would be the scene brought up in the Matrix- where you would rather eat the blue pill than take the hard truth of the red.

You would never stoop to even consider if what you believe in is flawed, but what if, just what if, it really is? Is it so difficult to imagine a life without God? Surely you have to understand that there are those who also find it difficult to believe, just as you cannot come to reconciliation as to why the whole world does not want to believe! I know for a start the muslims dont agree with you. y dont christians proselytise to them?

and i dont want you to go to hell LAH.............

Pascal's Wager

If God exists, you go to heaven: your gain is infinite.
If God does not exist, you gain nothing & lose nothing.
Therefore you should live your life as if God exists

Makes it seem like a win win situation dosent it?

Therefore there is no loss. Correct?

Read those words carefully. "You go to heaven". "Your gain is infinite".

Can these two phrases be proved in any possible way?

What if you are living in a false reality? The concept of hell and heaven then is totally brought down by the sheer possibilities that can be wrought up.

tsk

2007-09-19T14:00:00.000+08:00

Some mega churches affect students adversely

I READ with deep interest the article, 'Drawing the line between Caesar and God' (ST, Aug 2).

The objection of one of the large independent churches in Singapore to complying with provisions in the draft code of governance for charities would logically provoke concern about its financial transparency. This is especially so as these are 'rich' churches, judging by their well-equipped premises and set-up. These circumstances bring to light another concern. Some of these 'mega churches' have relentless recruitment activities in many schools and junior colleges.

My friends and I have loved ones whose lives and attitude have changed after they joined these churches. They lose interest in schoolwork to the point of academic failure. Family time is curtailed drastically, and they stop attending family functions. Parental objections are ignored, family squabbles ensue and family harmony is disrupted. It's heartbreaking. It is like we have lost our children.

I write this not to impugn any religion, but to warn against the abuse of religion. Having had such traumatic experiences, I cannot remain silent. I hope this letter will serve as a warning to parents regarding such youth activities that may destroy their personal lives and family harmony.

Dr Lee Bee Wah

.......................................................

quotes quotes, verses verses verses.

save us the religious discourse and antiquated anecdotes please. can the entirety of society as a whole come to a consensus with what you believe so staunchly? people should keep their beliefs to themselves.

true, religion may give psychological comfort to those who accept its doctrines, but ultimately it is failure to draw the line between the public and the personal that has changed religion in this way.

i do not understand how a religion can be considered something beneficial if it has the sheer power to drive a wedge between the closest possible bond between people- a parent and a child. in the face of this, even the considerable influence of a church's monetary power and influence pales in comparison.

the sheer power of being able to influence the cognitive processes of a human being is one to be feared and to be treated with caution. this ideology is more powerful than the economy of a thousand mega churches banded together. this alone is something that is cause for alarm, and a trend that we see in society today.

Nostalgia

2007-09-18T21:35:00.000+08:00

Somehow when i heard this song today i thought of her

I remember a time many years ago when she first told me to take the mike and sing this song with her. I was just a kid back then, and it was pretty awkward listening to my voice booming out loud, but it was fun.

To my dearly departed 5th aunt- this song will always remind me of you.

Without You

No I can't forget this evening
Or your face as you were leaving
But I guess that's just the way the story goes
You always smile but in your eyes your sorrow shows
Yes, it shows

No I can't forget tomorrow
When I think of all my sorrow
When I had you there but then I let you go
And now it's only fair that I should let you know
What you should know

I can't live
if living is without you
I can't live
I can't give anymore
I can't live
if living is without you
I can't give
I can't give anymore

Well I can't forget this evening
Nor your face as you were leaving
But I guess that's just the way the story goes
You always smile but in your eyes your sorrow shows
Yes, it shows

I can't live
if living is without you
I can't live
I can't give anymore

Why there surely is no justice in the world. NAH BAY.

2007-09-11T12:52:00.000+08:00

Suharto awarded $162m in libel suit against Time

Magazine alleged in 1999 article that his family had amassed US$15b during his rule

Sep 11, 2007

JAKARTA - INDONESIA'S Supreme Court has ordered Time magazine to pay US$106 million (S$162 million) in damages for defaming former leader Suharto by alleging his family amassed US$15 billion during his rule.

The cover story in the magazine's May 1999 Asian edition said that much of the money had been transferred from Switzerland to Austria before he stepped down as president amid riots and pro-democracy protests in 1998.

Mr Suharto maintained the article defamed him as well as the state of Indonesia.

A three-judge Supreme Court panel ruled on Aug 31 'that Time magazine has to pay US$106 million for defaming Suharto', a court spokesman disclosed yesterday.

The decision is likely to spark outrage in Indonesia, where the ageing former president has avoided being brought to trial over persistent allegations of massive corruption during his 32-year, iron-fisted rule.

'We accept the suit filed by Suharto and refuse the decision of the Appeal Court and Central Jakarta District Court,' Supreme Court spokesman Nurhadi told reporters, referring to rulings against the ex-leader made in 2000 and 2001.

He said the court had also ordered that an apology be published in Indonesian newspapers as well as three Time titles.

Mr Suharto had been seeking more than US$27 billion in the defamation suit filed against US-based Time over the article alleging he had stashed a massive amount of money abroad.

Time said, in the article, that it had traced some US$15 billion in wealth accumulated by Mr Suharto and his six children following a four-month investigation by its correspondents in 11 countries.

The money, the article alleged, included US$9 billion in cash that was transferred from a Swiss to an Austrian bank shortly after he stepped down amid unrest in May 1998.

The magazine also said it had documented that more than US$73 billion 'in revenues and assets' passed through the Suharto family's hands during his time in office.

But those holdings had allegedly been reduced over the years by mismanagement and the 1997-1998 financial crisis, it said.

Mr Nurhadi told reporters that the Time article was 'considered inappropriate, far from decent and careless, so it is considered against the law on defamation, and against the honour of the plaintiff who is a military general, retired, and former Indonesian president'.

'Based on those considerations, the plaintiff's civil suit and demands on immaterial damages are accepted in order to uphold justice,' he added.

Under Indonesian law, the only legal avenue open to Time now would be to file a request for a judicial review, for which new evidence or a procedural dispute needs to be claimed.

A lawyer for Time, Mr Todung Mulya Lubis, told the afternoon daily newspaper Sinar Harapan before the ruling was confirmed that what Time published was 'based on journalistic ethics'.

'It was fair and covered both sides,' he was quoted as saying.

Mr Suharto has always denied accumulating a fortune while in power. He described a Forbes magazine estimate after he stepped down that he was one of the world's richest men as 'ridiculous'.

Bringing him to justice has been seen as a key test of the government of President Susilo Bambang Yudhoyono, who was elected in 2004 on an anti-corruption platform.

A long-running criminal case against Mr Suharto was abandoned in May last year on health grounds, triggering widespread criticism of Dr Yudhoyono.

State prosecutors filed a civil suit seeking more than US$1.5 billion in damages against the former strongman in July, claiming that he misused charity funds during his rule, but analysts are sceptical that it will be successful.

Analysts see rampant corruption in Indonesia today - it is regularly ranked as one of the world's most graft-prone - as a legacy of Mr Suharto's rule.

ASSOCIATED PRESS, AGENCE FRANCE-PRESSE

A different work ethic

2007-09-10T13:50:00.000+08:00

Time the dog had its day? Try the cat's way
Sep 10, 2007, ST Soapbox If yours is a dog's life, here's a solution that might make you feel better
By Jessica Lim
'WORK like a dog, lor,' my ex-friend snapped when I asked him over dinner two years ago how his day had been. He then began a two-hour tirade: It was painfully complicated, his boss asked him to do something redundant (explained in detail), he was given menial tasks (this and that), he had no idea what he was doing in construction, he was quitting the next day. It got stale hearing the same refrain, so we stopped hanging out soon after that. Surreptitious checks with mutual acquaintances have revealed that he is still stuck in the pound, and, yes, whining all the way. But his might well be a dog's life because, according to an article in Ohio's daily The Plain Dealer, dog-like behaviour can lead to one being treated like a dog. Its author, Jim Pawlak, thinks most employees 'live for that gratuitous 'good dog' pat on the head'. Anyone just starting out in his career knows how that goes. A day at work is not unlike performing - you heel, you get barked at to jump higher, quite likely for the equivalent of a measly biscuit - all to gain approval. When that pat doesn't come, you slink home, tail between your legs. This, despite your going to all extremes to please your master. So you just obey, don't think, and repeat it, until 5pm - also your cue to start howling about your very tragic life to anyone who will listen. The whole aim of this, uh, doggie style, is simple: Get your boss to throw you a bone for your efforts; or at least, just tell you where to dig for a better assignment. Pawlak offers this antidote: Get catty. No, not hiss and scratch - not all the time anyway - but adopt cat-like characteristics. I agree. Cats manage their owners by showing they are capable and know what they are doing. In turn, their owners leave them to it. Which boss wouldn't want more time to manage his own bosses? To dig up his own treasure? After all, the boss-employee relationship is a symbiotic one. The more you understand your boss' constraints and pressures, the better you can help him succeed. And, yes, score one for the team. I realised this when I became a small boss of sorts myself when I was asked to mentor a few interns. One, in particular, irritated me because he asked if I was free to talk when I was clearly in the middle of a phone interview. When I said no, he would hover within my peripheral vision, and only after wild gesticulations and a 'COME BACK LATER!' scribbled on a notepad would he leave. This happened repeatedly. It made me wonder: Was I doing similar things to my boss? So I started being more self-aware, and realised it saved me a lot of second guessing - and time. I stopped barking up the wrong tree, learning instead to read between the e-mail lines, and deciphering non-verbal cues. At least I can now sniff out the bigger assignments from the less important ones, which saves me running around in circles trying to catch my tail. Now you try: Does your boss prefer communicating face-to-face or on the phone? Does he prefer short, precise meetings? What are his priorities? Figuring that out may mean getting promoted, landing ground-breaking assignments or pay raises. Most importantly, you will no longer feel as though you'd rather jump off a building than go back to your job. My cat, Smoky, manages me well. Attentive, he can detect a foul mood a mile away - so no meowing for chow. Independent, he refuses to be micro-managed and fulfils his pet duties by catching a few cockroaches a month. In return, I fill his bowl with salmon treats. Occasionally, I throw in a neck rub. Though lately, I've been wondering if he's ready for a bone or two...

wonder if this happens to other religious honchos

2007-09-06T23:27:00.000+08:00

Mother Teresa's Crisis of Faith

Time Magazine
Thursday, Aug. 23, 2007

On Dec. 11, 1979, Mother Teresa, the "Saint of the Gutters," went to Oslo. Dressed in her signature blue-bordered sari and shod in sandals despite below-zero temperatures, the former Agnes Bojaxhiu received that ultimate worldly accolade, the Nobel Peace Prize. In her acceptance lecture, Teresa, whose Missionaries of Charity had grown from a one-woman folly in Calcutta in 1948 into a global beacon of self-abnegating care, delivered the kind of message the world had come to expect from her. "It is not enough for us to say, 'I love God, but I do not love my neighbor,'" she said, since in dying on the Cross, God had "[made] himself the hungry one — the naked one — the homeless one." Jesus' hunger, she said, is what "you and I must find" and alleviate. She condemned abortion and bemoaned youthful drug addiction in the West. Finally, she suggested that the upcoming Christmas holiday should remind the world "that radiating joy is real" because Christ is everywhere — "Christ in our hearts, Christ in the poor we meet, Christ in the smile we give and in the smile that we receive."

Yet less than three months earlier, in a letter to a spiritual confidant, the Rev. Michael van der Peet, that is only now being made public, she wrote with weary familiarity of a different Christ, an absent one. "Jesus has a very special love for you," she assured Van der Peet. "[But] as for me, the silence and the emptiness is so great, that I look and do not see, — Listen and do not hear — the tongue moves [in prayer] but does not speak ... I want you to pray for me — that I let Him have [a] free hand."

The two statements, 11 weeks apart, are extravagantly dissonant. The first is typical of the woman the world thought it knew. The second sounds as though it had wandered in from some 1950s existentialist drama. Together they suggest a startling portrait in self-contradiction — that one of the great human icons of the past 100 years, whose remarkable deeds seemed inextricably connected to her closeness to God and who was routinely observed in silent and seemingly peaceful prayer by her associates as well as the television camera, was living out a very different spiritual reality privately, an arid landscape from which the deity had disappeared.

And in fact, that appears to be the case. A new, innocuously titled book, Mother Teresa: Come Be My Light (Doubleday), consisting primarily of correspondence between Teresa and her confessors and superiors over a period of 66 years, provides the spiritual counterpoint to a life known mostly through its works. The letters, many of them preserved against her wishes (she had requested that they be destroyed but was overruled by her church), reveal that for the last nearly half-century of her life she felt no presence of God whatsoever — or, as the book's compiler and editor, the Rev. Brian Kolodiejchuk, writes, "neither in her heart or in the eucharist."

That absence seems to have started at almost precisely the time she began tending the poor and dying in Calcutta, and — except for a five-week break in 1959 — never abated. Although perpetually cheery in public, the Teresa of the letters lived in a state of deep and abiding spiritual pain. In more than 40 communications, many of which have never before been published, she bemoans the "dryness," "darkness," "loneliness" and "torture" she is undergoing. She compares the experience to hell and at one point says it has driven her to doubt the existence of heaven and even of God. She is acutely aware of the discrepancy between her inner state and her public demeanor. "The smile," she writes, is "a mask" or "a cloak that covers everything." Similarly, she wonders whether she is engaged in verbal deception. "I spoke as if my very heart was in love with God — tender, personal love," she remarks to an adviser. "If you were [there], you would have said, 'What hypocrisy.'" Says the Rev. James Martin, an editor at the Jesuit magazine America and the author of My Life with the Saints, a book that dealt with far briefer reports in 2003 of Teresa's doubts: "I've never read a saint's life where the saint has such an intense spiritual darkness. No one knew she was that tormented." Recalls Kolodiejchuk, Come Be My Light's editor: "I read one letter to the Sisters [of Teresa's Missionaries of Charity], and their mouths just dropped open. It will give a whole new dimension to the way people understand her."

The book is hardly the work of some antireligious investigative reporter who Dumpster-dived for Teresa's correspondence. Kolodiejchuk, a senior Missionaries of Charity member, is her postulator, responsible for petitioning for her sainthood and collecting the supporting materials. (Thus far she has been beatified; the next step is canonization.) The letters in the book were gathered as part of that process.

The church anticipates spiritually fallow periods. Indeed, the Spanish mystic St. John of the Cross in the 16th century coined the term the "dark night" of the soul to describe a characteristic stage in the growth of some spiritual masters. Teresa's may be the most extensive such case on record. (The "dark night" of the 18th century mystic St. Paul of the Cross lasted 45 years; he ultimately recovered.) Yet Kolodiejchuk sees it in St. John's context, as darkness within faith. Teresa found ways, starting in the early 1960s, to live with it and abandoned neither her belief nor her work. Kolodiejchuk produced the book as proof of the faith-filled perseverance that he sees as her most spiritually heroic act.

Not all atheists and doubters will agree. Both Kolodiejchuk and Martin assume that Teresa's inability to perceive Christ in her life did not mean he wasn't there. In fact, they see his absence as part of the divine gift that enabled her to do great work. But to the U.S.'s increasingly assertive cadre of atheists, that argument will seem absurd. They will see the book's Teresa more like the woman in the archetypal country-and-western song who holds a torch for her husband 30 years after he left to buy a pack of cigarettes and never returned. Says Christopher Hitchens, author of The Missionary Position, a scathing polemic on Teresa, and more recently of the atheist manifesto God Is Not Great: "She was no more exempt from the realization that religion is a human fabrication than any other person, and that her attempted cure was more and more professions of faith could only have deepened the pit that she had dug for herself." Meanwhile, some familiar with the smiling mother's extraordinary drive may diagnose her condition less as a gift of God than as a subconscious attempt at the most radical kind of humility: she punished herself with a crippling failure to counterbalance her great successes.

education again. whats new

2007-09-04T22:58:00.001+08:00

STFORUM

Sep 4, 2007

Direct entry scheme at RGS 'very stressful' I AM writing this letter out of frustration from my daughter's stressful experience in the recently completed direct school admission (DSA) programme at Raffles Girls' School (RGS).

My daughter applied under the maths talent route and sat for the first phase (psychometric test) in late June. Subsequently, she was short-listed for the maths programme on July 14. When, after about a month, we did not hear from the school, I asked via e-mail if my daughter would be short-listed for the interview.

Even a negative reply would have been appreciated as she could concentrate on her prelims. I did not get any reply at all.

So, we waited on tenterhooks. My daughter asked me every day if RGS had replied, and I had to disappoint her every time. Then, two days before the end of the interview period last week, as we were about to give up hope, I received an e-mail from the school inviting her to an interview the very next day.

My poor daughter, who had her prelims that week, had less than a day to prepare the required speech about herself, as well as read up on the school. She had to forgo revising for her science prelim paper the next day.

Due to the short notice, I had to cancel important appointments, at great inconvenience and cost to myself, to take her to the interview.

Our efforts proved futile last Thursday when I got a mass e-mail about her unsuccessful application. I was shocked as my daughter told me her interview went smoothly and all she did was reiterate what was already in her application. I asked the school for an indication where she had fumbled, but so far have not received any reply.

Parents who are considering the DSA at RGS, consider these odds: Of about 700 girls who applied under maths, about 30 were short-listed. Of these, fewer than 10 (possibly including foreign students) were granted an interview. If I had known these odds, I would never have subjected my daughter to such emotional upheaval.

Maria Loh Mun Foong (Ms)

About blogging

2007-09-03T01:23:00.000+08:00

Why do people blog?

Is it beacuse:

1- I want people to hear what i have to say
2- The act of Blogging is cool and happening
3- Blogging lets me post my camwhore pics
4- Blogging let me share my weal and woe with the world
5 -Some other reasons?

I actually wanted to make a list from 1-10 or 20, but i got lazy and stopped at 5.

Truth is, is what we write on our blogs really what we feel? Well i guess it differs from person to person, but the fact that this is a public avenue goes to show that somehow or other, a part of our subconscious acts in a way to 'censor' what we write into a form that is deemed presentable to an audience. Which means, what we write on our blogs are the words we want people to see, to hear, to read. The intention is there. I WANT to he heard. I WANT people to see what lovely pics of my travels there are. I WANT the world to know that i want that camera for my birthday, that i like taking photos of MYSELF, that I love cats, that my day was as exciting as can be.

pretty much a very self centered notion isnt it?

that it is what it is- a reflection on the self. it all boils down to a single word- the self.

you selfish bastards you.

About Reciprocation

2007-09-03T00:49:00.000+08:00

emotions can be such a terrible thing. they hold us down, like shackles, and act as blindfolds, covering our eyes to the reality that lies beyond.

whats the point of giving a shit when NOBODY gives a shit?

hell, is that person even worth the attention? worth your time? ur effort? ur BRAINCELLS?

nobody GENUINELY gives a shit

everybody's so busy screaming to be heard that nobody listens anymore.

so why should anybody be an exception to the case? you would just be a sucker ending up wallowing in sorrow and sadness.

nothing is ever reciprocated, nothing ever.

so, take life with a pinch of salt. life's unfair. just look at the poor kids sued by ODEX. think thats fair? no it never is.

at the end of the day, the only thing that matters is.....

Laugh and the world laughs with you. Weep and you weep alone.
-Oh Dae Su
OldBoy

Too late. You cant keep me from staying here, punks.

2007-09-01T16:17:00.000+08:00

Fourth varsity:

Third time's the charm? The Government's last U-turn on the fourth university is still fresh on the minds of polytechnic graduates and their parents. What has changed in the last four years to merit a relook?

Education Correspondent SANDRA DAVIE tracks the twists and turns on the road to a fourth university

Sept 1 2007

BUILDING a fourth university is well and good, but Mr Chew Ah Bah wishes it had been set up a decade ago. That might have enabled his three sons to get university degrees right here at home.

All three did well enough in polytechnic to progress to universities in Britain, where they earned first class honours. But sending them abroad required big sacrifices from Mr Chew, 63, and his wife, Madam Ong Kin Choo, 56.

Over the last 12 years, he has had to clean out his savings earned from his small trading business in herbal products. He also mortgaged the family's three-room flat.

And Madam Ong deferred plans to retire from her job as a factory operator.

Recognising the quality of a Singaporean polytechnic qualification, the British institutions - University of Manchester Institute of Science and Technology, Surrey University and Imperial College London - allowed the boys to complete their degrees in two years.

Singapore's existing publicly funded universities were less welcoming.

From yes to no

THE proposed fourth university is expected to cater to polytechnic upgraders like Mr Chew's sons.

While the news cheered those with children about to enter the polytechnics, the Chews and other Singapore families like them feel it should have been set up years ago.

Prime Minister Lee Hsien Loong announced the decision in his recent National Day Rally speech, noting that more students were doing well in school and eyeing a university education.

To Madam Katherine Wong, 48, the situation sounds familiar. It had begun happening in the 1990s. And a panel headed by then-senior minister of state for education Peter Chen had recommended setting up a fourth publicly funded university.

Thousands of polytechnic graduates were heading to universities abroad every year, after being rejected by the local universities.

A new university could cater to these degree-hungry polytechnic graduates. The panel had proposed that the new university be set in a different mould from the existing three, providing a strong practical and technical orientation compatible with the polytechnics.

But then came what many saw as a U-turn on the policy.

A new minister of state, Dr Ng Eng Hen, led a panel to review the university sector, including the proposal for a fourth university.

'There is neither need nor any advantage to be derived in creating a fourth university,' said the panel's 2003 report.

It was better, it said, to leverage on the reputation and expertise of the existing universities, especially the National University of Singapore (NUS) and Nanyang Technological University (NTU).

The panel suggested that NUS create two 'niche' campuses besides its Kent Ridge flagship: a research-intensive university in Buona Vista and a small, specialised institution for a graduate medical programme and other health sciences.

NTU was to be expanded, to offer programmes in the physical sciences, humanities and design and media.

Madam Wong, 48, is one of those who felt let down by the decision. Her son Sean had just completed his engineering diploma programme and was entering national service.

She ended up cashing in an endowment policy and taking a company loan to send her son to Australia for two years.

She is surprised that the fourth university is now back on the table.

'Really, I hope it happens this time round,' she said. 'But I do wonder how come just four years ago they decided there was no need for it and now suddenly there is a need.'

Insight put this question to Dr Ng, who is now Manpower Minister. He defended his panel's recommendation as the best one at that time.

His panel, he said, had the same end goal as Mr Chen's: to increase the proportion of each cohort with a place in local universities to 25 per cent by 2010. At the time, only about 20 per cent made it to university.

'We had to look at the best way to offer additional places in the university,' Dr Ng said. 'A fourth university was not necessarily the best or the speediest way to provide the additional places.'

He also pointed out the economic backdrop to each panel's review. In 2000, when Mr Chen's committee was set up, Singapore's economy was already back on its feet after the 1997 financial crisis.

But by the time Dr Ng's committee came into being in 2002, Singapore was headed for its worst recession in almost 40 years.

'When I came in, the world had changed. Our unemployment was up to 6 per cent, the economy had gone down, the Bali bomb blast; there was also a budget deficit.'

(tis is really no link lor)

The right time

THE environment has changed again. 'For one, the graduate job market could not be more different now,' Dr Ng said.

'In 2003, we created 20,000 jobs a year. This quarter, we created 60,000 jobs. That's the contrast you are talking about: in one quarter alone, we created three years' worth of jobs compared to 2003.'

Even if the job market had been healthier then, a fourth university would not have been the right solution at the time, he stressed.

It would have taken too long, he said. The Government had to act quickly to create enough places in time for the 'Dragon baby' bulge that would reach university age starting this year.

'Our challenge was to give students both a place and a good degree,' he said. 'In retrospect, even if the economy had been doing well, I think to expand NTU to absorb that 4 per cent would probably have been the quickest and best way to do it.'

This, in turn, raises the question of why a fourth university is needed now, instead of continuing to expand the existing three. After all, these have the advantage of already having strong reputations. NUS, for example, was placed 19 in the last Times of London's world ranking.

Current Minister of State for Education Lui Tuck Yew, who leads a committee to develop the fourth university, has a ready answer.

He said that, four years ago, the three universities still had room to grow, especially NTU. They have since reached their optimal size, with both NUS and NTU having an undergrad population of over 20,000 each. The Singapore Management University (SMU) was always meant to be a boutique university. (huh? wtf?)

Expanding them further could adversely affect their quality, Rear-Admiral (NS) Lui said.

The other advantage of setting up a new university is that it could add diversity to tertiary education.

In particular, it could cater for the kind of students now heading overseas, including the polytechnic upgraders.

The minister had said his panel would study different university models - including the technical universities of Europe, the American liberal arts colleges and foreign specialised institutions - and then recommend, in a year, one or more models for Singapore's fourth or even fifth university.

A new route

POLYTECHNIC students who have been cheered by the news said it is time the Government provided them with a suitable university route.

They said their older peers, including gold and silver medallists, could have secured places in local institutions but opted to go overseas because they were allowed up to two years' exemption on their degree course.

An example is Mr Lucas Lim, 27, who returned recently from his studies in Australia. 'I did my sums and realised that though the two years overseas will cost me more, I will start working earlier,' he said.

Like him, several other polytechnic graduates interviewed complained how the university system is geared to favour the students coming through the A-level route.

Their admission criteria, the timing of the annual admission exercise and even the way courses are taught provide a better fit for A-level holders.

'The new university should suit those who come through the polys. For one, poly students do better when the teaching is more hands-on and practical,' said Mr Lim, who has a first-class honours degree.

Like many of his poly peers who headed to Australia, he is considering migrating there in the future. (good on you)

His disenchantment comes through most clearly when he says that polytechnic students have a tougher time not just in university admissions, but also in getting government scholarships.

He points out that it was only just a few years ago, in 2002, that a polytechnic graduate won the Public Service Commission's prestigious Overseas Merit Scholarship.

The hunger for degrees is such that parents are also wondering if the Government is still too conservative. It is now aiming for 30 per cent of every cohort to enter the local universities - but why stop there, some ask.

'Shouldn't the Government be looking further, to increase it to 40 per cent as in the European countries?' said Mr Kumara Rajan, 38, who has two school-going children. 'It can be easily done by converting a couple of the polys into universities.'

He argued that raising it to 30 per cent would add only another 2,400 places a year, taking it to a total of about 16,000 to 17,000 university places a year.Going by this year's 28,000 applications from polytechnic and A-level graduates to the three universities here, that would mean a rejection for 40 per cent of applicants.

In 1990, 15 per cent of each school cohort made it to the local universities. This went up to 20 per cent in 2000 and will be raised to 25 per cent in 2010. The rate is now 23.5 per cent.

But what is significant though is that up to half of each cohort do end up with degrees, whether from here or overseas - ample evidence of the burgeoning demand for university education.

Avoiding the pitfalls

STILL, RADM Lui believes that Singapore has been wise to raise the number of local university places at a gradual pace.

Singapore has avoided the pitfalls of expanding the university sector too quickly. In some countries, universities have had to handle high dropout rates and graduates who find it tough to land jobs.

He is also opposed to converting polytechnics into universities.

Citing Britain's experience, he said: 'The elevation to university status has diluted former polytechnics' mission as institutions that imparted solid, applied skills that employers demand.

'None of the former polytechnics given university status in l992 has made it to the top 50, even by 2007, and most remain in the bottom half of the UK's university league tables.'

Mr B.K. Lim, 44, a former project manager, appreciates the fact that there must be a careful balance between quality and quantity.

The father of two secondary-school-going boys has a business degree through distance learning. He was among the first to be laid off when his firm shed workers four years ago. He ended up driving a taxi.

'As a parent, naturally I want more university places for my children, but it's not so good if the standard is brought down too low just to admit more people,' he said.

Polytechnic student Carolyn Tan, 19, who is looking forward to the fourth university, agrees: 'It will take some time for the new university to gain a reputation. So the Government should not set the bar too low. It must be a high-quality institution.'

This, RADM Lui said, is exactly what the Government aims to do.

'If we go by the timescale for the establishment of SMU, it took three years,' he said.

'The commitment has been given, subsidised university places for 30 per cent by 2015, and a high-quality education...We will deliver.'

Insight

2007-09-01T16:15:00.000+08:00

ST NSIGHT

The long road to a fourth university

By Sandra Davie, Education Correspondent

Sept 1 2007

AFTER getting his engineering diploma from Ngee Ann Polytechnic, Madam Katherine Wong's son wanted to pursue an engineering degree course in Australia.

She had to cash in her insurance endowment policy and take a loan as well to finance his ambition.

That was in 2005.

Today, the 48-year-old, who is divorced, fears her 24-year-old son, Sean, has flown the coop for good. He has hinted to her that he wants to stay in Australia after graduating.

For parents like Madam Wong, Prime Minister Lee Hsien Loong's recent announcement of a fourth, and maybe even a fifth, university has come too late.

While those entering or studying in the polytechnics welcome the decision, she is among those who believe it should have been taken a lot earlier. Since the 1990s, thousands of polytechnic graduates have been going overseas each year to get a university degree.

Madam Wong feels that universities here should have provided more places for polytechnic graduates like her son.

A fourth university could also have kept him here.

Like many poly graduates and their parents, she still remembers the Government's decision in 2003 to overturn an earlier decision to set up a publicly-funded institution.

That decision was taken by a committee headed by then-Minister of State (Education) Ng Eng Hen.

So, what happened in the last four years that prompted the Government to re-consider the fourth university proposal? Insight examines the twists and turns leading to the latest decision to press on with the fourth university.

Liars, Money Grubbers and downright Degenerates

2007-08-31T16:01:00.000+08:00

Time to relieve stress by taking a pot shot.

.......................

Title	:	Odex says it is not going after illegal downloaders for profit
By	:	Foo Siew Shyan, Channel NewsAsia
Date	:	30 Aug 2007 2211 hrs (GMT + 8hrs)

SINGAPORE: Anime distributor Odex has defended its action against illegal downloaders as a form of enforcement against piracy rather than for profit.

Rumour has it that the company earned some S$15 million by taking action against illegal downloads.

Computer users, most of them teens, have been pilfering anime titles from the Web.

In fact, one report even ranked Singapore number one in the world, when it comes to illegal anime downloads per capita.

Odex has uncovered close to 500,000 cases of illegal downloading so far.

To further prove its point, Odex has roped in about 30 Japanese copyright holders who have said they will support Odex in its legal move.

That move saw Odex going to court to force SingNet and StarHub to release the names of their subscribers who have illegally downloaded its cartoons.

The result - a backlash against Odex .

Some people have accused the company of sending 1,000 warning letters, each supposedly called for the identified subscriber to pay between S$3,000 and S$5,000 in fines.

But at a news conference on Thursday, Odex said that there was no fine involved. It said 300 letters were sent out.

About a third of the recipients settled with Odex for an undisclosed sum. The rest are being mediated.

The company claimed that any excess money from the move, after deducting costs, will be donated to a charitable cause.

Odex added that no one was forced to pay beyond his/her means.

"This exercise was never meant to be just an enforcement. It's not a profiteering mission to get as much money from everybody. It was conceptualized with a very big picture (in mind).

"Illegal downloaders can download animes for all they want... five years, ten years, there will be nothing left to download. This is the fear that most strikes us. We want to address that situation," said Stephen Sing, director of Odex Pte Ltd.

That's why Odex still plans to continue what it calls its enforcement process. Its target - an 80 or 90 percent reduction in illegal downloads.

That seems like quite a stretch, since the company has seen only a 17% drop in illegal downloads this month.

More importantly, Odex may not have the right to pursue its so-called enforcement after all.

Despite the company's success against SingTel and StarHub, a judge has ruled that Pacific Internet does not have to give up the names of its subscribers who have been accused of illegally downloading anime.

This is because the court found that Odex is just a sub-licensee and not the copyright owner or exclusive licensee for most of the anime titles sold in Singapore.

Odex says it will launch an appeal to reverse the latest court ruling. - CNA/ir

............................

I'll just be direct here.

Fuck you and your company. Do you think the community gives a shit what kind of legal justification you can swing at people? Do you think anybody gives a DAMN about that?

Stop making yourselves feel good about the whole affair please. It will not make downloaders reconcile with you or take your stance with sympathy.

You do not need to call the representatives from the Japanese side. Gratify yourself all you want but it does not change anything. It only goes to show how ugly you bastards can be at defending such a downright unethical practice. Its like saying i killed the guy because he looked like he was reaching for a gun! I did it to save the bus! Pure bullshit.

Fuck you. Fuck you and your shithole company. DO you think that people will even patronise your lousy video on demand service? To be honest even if online streaming services give me a lower quality video i would rather stream from there than give a flying fuck to whatever you have to provide.

SS: You look like William Hung. If you are an otaku then I must have been the one who wrote Naruto and Bleach.

The company claimed that any excess money from the move, after deducting costs, will be donated to a charitable cause.

Yeah well done! Donate it to the poor NKF guys! Heard they need the cash to maintain their jet-set lifestyles after the lawsuit, eh?

altruism is dead, benevolence is nonsense, kindness is non existent

2007-08-24T22:11:00.000+08:00

big lesson learnt today. kindness is always taken for granted. always.

so much shit all around i cant be bothered with anything anymore.

the only thing i look forward to is table tennis in the evenings, really. the smacking and hitting really helps to remove everything away. going at it like posessed demons for 2 hours after dinner really helps alleviate the situation for at least those 2 hours.

the word friend is over rated. i prefer the word acquaintance or person. or any other label.

dont ever use the word friend to refer to me. dont ever. there are only a handful who i consider to be my friends, a few to whom i extend that liberty to.

whats the point of helping if nothing comes out of it? everything goes back to nothing. the status quo does not change.

The 19th level of hell

2007-08-22T14:09:00.000+08:00

I am not very clear what each level of hell represents, but i think the bastard, the fucker who did this should burn in it. In a hell even worse than the deepest hell.

You probably think you are very smaat, you soulless piece of shit. Let me tell you. Karma exists. The cat is going to haunt you to ur death bed and curse all 18 generations of ur damn family.

If you have a family, that is.

Cat found with legs, head severed

ITS head was cut off. Its front legs too.

And the worst part is that no one knows whether the cat was alive or dead when it happened - except the person who did it.

The Society for Prevention of Cruelty to Animals (SPCA) is hoping that there are witnesses.

It is offering a $1,000 reward for information leading to the apprehension of the cat killer who likely struck early yesterday.

The cat was discovered yesterday morning at the West Coast Car Mart, with its head dumped beside its body. Its carcass was also missing two front legs.

'To know that someone in our midst can have such a cruel mindset is frightening,' said Ms Deirdre Moss, executive officer of SPCA. 'It reflects a disturbed mind.'

An SPCA vet, who examined the body, said the killing occurred in the early hours of the morning.

And the cruel act was likely done by someone skilled with a knife. The clue: the clean cuts where the cat had been decapitated and its legs severed.

As there was very little blood at the scene, it is also likely that the killer had cut up the cat somewhere else before dumping its body in public for all to see, said Ms Moss.

The current penalty for animal abuse is a jail term of up to 12 months and a fine of up to $10,000.

Witnesses may call the SPCA on 6287-5355.

Australia wooing migrants as baby boomers retire

2007-08-21T16:43:00.000+08:00

ST, 21st Aug

By Roger Maynard, Australia Correspondent

SYDNEY - AUSTRALIA is to target young, skilled, professional migrants to fill the gap in a rapidly ageing population caused by retiring baby boomers.

The latest policy initiative aims to avert a serious shortage of workers in Australia at a time when employees are retiring in greater numbers than ever before.

Immigration Minister Kevin Andrews admitted that the country's ageing population was creating major economic and social challenges for the country.

'Two things are happening,' he said.

'One is we are living longer, which is a great outcome. The other is that we have not been reproducing ourselves for about 40 years.

'The combination of these factors means year by year, the average age of the population grows older and that is compounded by a third factor - namely that the last great demographic shift in Australia was the baby boom from the end of the Second World War.'

The answer, he said, lay in attracting young, skilled professionals 'who will contribute to a cohesive society'.

Australian migration trends are already reflecting this new government policy.

Out of the 148,200 people granted permanent residence in the year 2006-7, almost 98,000 gained entry for their skills.

Most of them came from the United Kingdom, followed by India, China, South Africa and Malaysia.

The top occupation for skilled stream entrants was accountancy, followed by computer professionals and nurses.

Mr Andrews made no secret of the reasoning behind the government's thinking.

He said: 'Australia is competing for skilled workers with Europe, the US, Canada and New Zealand - we simply have to ensure that we build a productive nation where business can continue to thrive in the future.'

Like Singapore, Australia faces a pronounced ageing of its population for the foreseeable future.

By the year 2044, a quarter of Australians will be over the age of 65, about double the present level.

One recent government report calculated that the current population trend could have serious economic and fiscal consequences, pointing to the increased cost of health care and the impact of lower productivity.

Only an increase in net migration and fertility could address the problem, the Productivity Commission concluded.

Commenting on the findings at the time, the commission's chairman Gary Banks said: 'The ageing of our population is a long-term phenomenon, but its effects will be felt sooner than many imagine.

'The action of governments today will determine how well Australia copes with ageing pressures in the future.'

Like Singapore, Australia wants to encourage older people to stay at work longer.

New superannuation laws now make it much more financially attractive for employees of a mature age to remain in the workforce and ease their way into retirement.

Under recently introduced legislation, salaries can be pumped into a pension fund and withdrawn tax-free, providing a strong financial incentive for men and women to remain at work longer.

.........................................

Really? That makes this one of the best news i have heard so far.

Come to think of it, how often is news good news anyway?

Media Blackout

2007-08-21T01:00:00.000+08:00

lets see how long i can go without msn.

just about had enough with the false hopes and self inflicted disappointments.

like one of my friends says:

false hope makes you cynical

history repeating

2007-08-20T19:54:00.001+08:00

i did it and it got me nowhere.

just empty space and a void where something should be.

such simple things piss me off so easily.

y start when it is obviously going nowhere?

u bo ka lan me i bo ka lan you

Another one for the Forum

2007-08-20T17:31:00.000+08:00

Why do i even do this shit.

http://www.straitstimes.com/ST%2BForum/Online%2BStory/STIStory_149255.html

Who cares? is anybody even gg to give a shit

Ten Years Too Late

2007-08-19T22:15:00.000+08:00

ST, Aug 19 2007

Fourth university to be decided within a year: PM Lee

By Imelda Saad, Correspondent

CONTINUING his theme of closing the income gap, Prime Minister Lee Hsien Loong announced several measures to upgrade the university sector in Singapore.

Descibing education as the 'best way to level up society', Mr Lee said in his National Day Rally speech, that the Government is looking into a fourth publicly-funded university.

But he added the Government 'may not limit' itself to just 'one new institution'.

'The aim is to get every student into post-secondary education and as many as possible into tertiary institutions', he said.

Currently, 23 per cent of every cohort receives subsidised education in the three universities - The Nanyang Technological University (NTU), The National University of Singapore (NUS) and the Singapore Management University (SMU).

The aim, said Mr Lee, is to get 30 per cent of the Singaporean cohort to enter publicly-funded universities by 2015.

This means 2,400 more places a year.

Mr Lee said the new university will have its own character and unique strengths, different from NUS, NTU and SMU.

Minister of State for Education RAdm (NS) Lui Tuck Yew will chair a committee to study how to expand the university sector.

Chairman of the National Research Foundation and former Minister in Charge of University Affairs, Tony Tan will be advisor to the Commitee.

Mr Lee said the Government wil decide within a year, the best way to proceed with the new university.

Malay language
The Prime Minister also touched on the importance of acquiring new language skills as part of getting a good education.

While emphasising that there will be no change in the mother tongue policy, Mr Lee also urged more non-Malays to learn Malay in addition to their mother tongue.

Incentives will be introduced to encourage more students to take up the Malay Special Programme (MSP), to study Malay as a third language.

Similarly, incentives will be extended to non-Chinese students who take up Chinese as a third language.

.............................

If it dosnt bother me why should i care about it? Seems this is the way things work. Well, its not working. We are a cynical generation who are not shackled by the indebtness which so clouded the eyes of the previous generation and there fore resulted in the accumulation of so much power within just a space of a few decades. True, we have come a long way, but at what cost? What of the long term consequences?

Akatsuki Revealed

2007-08-18T21:36:00.001+08:00

If anyone reads Naruto, you would be pleased that today, i am glad to present to the public a SPOILER IMAGE. Yes, yes this is a spoiler image of the AKATSUKI LEADER revealed! His nasty face finally revealed for all its glory! And yes, wouldnt you want to know whats on his forehead protector? Is he Naruto's father? OR does he have the Sharingan too?All these answered in seconds! Hold your breath.........

Drumroll.................

Drumroll..................

Drumroll...............

Even louder drumroll......................

Reaching a crescendo...............

TA DA!!!

Akatsuki Leader:

to my ex neighbour

2007-08-15T22:08:00.000+08:00

jason you would have loved this

Roger's Story- Part One

2007-08-14T23:18:00.000+08:00

Greetings. Let me introduce you to a friend of mine. A personal friend, really.

His name is Roger. Hanyu Pinyin- Chen Cai Ming, ( Tan Chai Beng)

Born in 1992, he was an average achiever in school. He did pick up some things fast, though. He was able to pick up computer literacy early, and by the age of 8, learnt how to use programs such as Explorer and, of course, how to reformat the computer.

Of course, Roger was born in an age where information sped round the globe in the blink of an eye, where he could be connected to his peers in a manner totally unheard of by those a generation behind him. One of his faves was downloading free programs, software and entertainment off the Internet. He was amazed that the Internet held so much information, and its influx of information dazzled him.

On his ninth birthday he recieved a nasty shock. A letter came through the mail for his parents. Turns out he illegally downloaded some episodes of Japanese Animation off the Internet illegally and as a result, legal action was taken against his parents. Of course, they did not that what he was doing as illegal, and settled on paying the 3k fine instead of going to court. At International Plaza, he met Linny, a school mate who happened to also have performed the dastardly deed. They talked, and became fast friends.

His parents never looked at him the same way after this incident.

His computer usage hours were limited, and closely monitored by his parents after the incident. They became paranoid and limited the time he spent on the computer soon afterwards.

End of Part One

i love singapore

2007-08-14T19:31:00.000+08:00

StarHub must give names of illegal anime downloaders

ST, Aug 14th 2007

By Chua Hian Hou

THE Singapore distributor of popular Japanese animated cartoons called anime has won the right to track down fans who download the programmes illegally using their Starhub Internet accounts.

A Subordinate Court has ordered the telco to disclose the identity of about 1,000 of its subscribers accused of illegally downloading anime.

It is believed to be one of the largest crackdowns on illegal Internet downloading by home users in Singapore.

The recent hearing was held in a closed chamber session, so few details of the case are available publicly. The action was taken by local anime distributor Odex.

StarHub had initially resisted the company's efforts to get its customer data, said a spokesman for the telco, as it had 'an obligation to protect our customers' information'.

But it now has no choice but to comply with the court order, as Odex had 'satisfied the court of its need for the information'.

Once Odex obtains the identities of these Internet users from StarHub, it is expected to write to them demanding a settlement of up to $5,000 and a promise to stop further illegal downloading.

In May, Odex went after 17 SingNet subscribers after obtaining a similar court order. It then sent more letters to an undisclosed number of other SingNet subscribers also accused of illegally downloading anime.

Odex director Peter Go said a few infringers with financial difficulties were allowed to settle for about $1,000. He added that a number of those who had received the letter had engaged lawyers, but did not contest Odex's case.

Having succeeded in getting SingNet and StarHub customer lists, Odex will now go after customers of another Internet service provider, Pacific Internet (PacNet), in the Subordinate Courts later this week. It is understood Odex has accused about 1,000 PacNet users of illegal downloading.

PacNet spokesman Bernard Ho said the firm was 'resisting the application' made by Odex in court.

However, lawyers familiar with such applications say they have a strong track record of success. But information obtained this way is not always useful to the plaintiff. For instance, the user may no longer be in the country.

Popular with both children and adults, the anime industry was worth as much as US$5 billion ($7.5 billion) worldwide, according to a 2004 BusinessWeek report. However, illegal downloads, available online since the late 1990s, have cut deeply into the profits of producers and distributors.

Mr Go said the South Korean anime market, once the world's second largest after Japan, collapsed several years ago due to piracy problems.

This prompted Japanese studios making anime to band together to mount the crackdown here as they were worried Singapore, although not as big a market, would end up the same way.

A 23-year-old anime fan acknowledged that there was some truth to Mr Go's words.

'At my peak a while ago, I used to download five to 10 gigabytes of anime a week,' said the undergraduate, who declined to be named.

Now, he is resigned that his past will catch up with him.

'It's just a matter of time before I get the dreaded Odex letter.'

................................................................

Court forces ISP to reveal culprits

Netizens cry foul- How did company track downloaders?

New Paper, Aug 9 2007

By Liew Hanqing

THE white school shoes lined up neatly at the reception area were telling.

Popular series Inuyasha is one of the anime series distributed by Odex here.

Inside were several frowning parents with their teenage children in tow.

That was the scene at Odex's office at International Plaza on Monday.

Odex is the local distributor of Japanese anime cartoons which made news recently when it cracked down on illegal downloaders here.

Most of those caught were students - one, a 9-year-old child.

The episode has caused a huge uproar among Netizens, who are worried that their online privacy has been compromised.

How did Odex, which distributes popular Japanese anime series such as Bleach, Inuyasha and D.Gray-man here, find out who had been downloading illegally?

TROUBLING

Said Mr David Lee, 23, who collects anime box sets: 'What's troubling is how it seems like the ISPs are prepared to divulge user information so readily.'

After some persuasion, Mr Peter Go, managing director of Odex, revealed how the company had done it.

He told The New Paper that a US company had been hired to track down the illegal downloaders.

'All the information we obtained was through the proper channels,' he said.

Mr Go declined to reveal the name of the company Odex hired, saying only that it was also involved in several high-profile copyright infringement cases in the US.

He said that the data collected was then used to obtain a court order.

The court order required Internet service providers (ISPs) to provide the account information of users whose internet protocol (IP) addresses had been linked to illegal downloading.

On disclosing users' identities, a SingTel spokesman said: 'SingTel has a strict policy of not disclosing customer information to external parties.

'In this particular case, Odex's solicitors had obtained a court order that required us to release the information to them.'

Then came the tedious process of matching the names obtained from the ISPs to the files they had downloaded, as tracked by the US company.

Additional administrative staff had to be hired to do the matching.

Infringing users were then sent letters, inviting them to enter discussions with Odex to avoid legal action being taken against them.

Users who admitted to the downloads were made to pay between $3,000 and $5,000 in reimbursement fees to Odex, according to Mr Go.

They also had to sign a letter of undertaking promising not to illegally download any anime licensed to Odex.

NO CLAIMS MADE YET

He said: 'At this stage, we have not claimed damages against any of the downloaders.

'The money they've been made to pay is to cover the costs which Odex has incurred.'

Mr Go said besides the usual legal fees, they had to pay the ISPs for identification of users, the US company hired to track illegal downloads, as well as the additional administrative staff.

Mr Go added that the company had no choice, as Odex's business had been severely hurt by illegal downloads.

He said: 'Our sales for 2006 fell more than 50 per cent compared to the year before.'

Statistics show that Odex's declining sales are part of a global trend.

And even though 13-episode anime VCD box sets released by Odex cost just $10, and DVD box sets, $20, consumers were not biting, Mr Go said.

Sales of the box sets have been poor, and got even worse last year.

Odex is still sending letters to users who have been identified as illegal downloaders - one ISP at a time.

Said Mr Go: 'We just haven't finished matching the data obtained from the other ISPs yet. We are not targeting any ISP in particular.'

LEGAL ACTION

He added that Odex would begin taking legal action if the situation does not improve.

He said: 'We would like to avoid getting to the point where we have to raid the homes of those who download illegally. But if this continues, we may soon have to.'

Mr Go said that while there was a 50 per cent drop in the number of illegal downloads a week after Odex sent out the first batch of letters, the number of downloads went back to normal the following week.

Mr Go said he was frustrated that users on anime forums were discussing ways to continue downloading anime illegally, without getting caught.

He said: 'There are so many ways people can get their anime fix.

'And our VCDs and DVDs are already priced about as low as they can go, but people still aren't buying.

'It's very sad.'

Under the Copyright Act, users found guilty of wilful and significant downloads face fines of up to $20,000 and up to six months in jail.

The Act does not specify what constitutes a significant number of downloads.

.....................................................

Business ethics

-Is a specialized study of moral right and wrong.

-It concentrates on moral standards as they apply to business policies, institutions and behaviour and to the systems and organizations through which modern societies produce goods and services and to the people who work within these organizations.

....................................................

Do you think that there are any ethics involved in business? Nah. Ethics dont get you money or bring you anywhere. Mainland china is an example. In the capitalist world we live in today the key ideal that drives us is the pursuit of monetary gain, be it thru whatever avenue we might choose. In a country where regulation is subservient to those who wield it there is no room for ethics and implications. I can make money through this so what?

No, there is no use spouting profanities and cursing and swearing at how the situation has becomes. We should accept the fact that it is this society that we live in, the grim reality of what life really is. It is not a bed of roses.

In a way one of the very poignant texts which relates closely to the situation would be Aeon Flux. Replace the Goodchilds with a different name and voila. There you have it. As is quoted in the film- "we trade our freedom for a gilded cage". At the same time, we should be thankful for this cage- it is responsible for shaping us into the individuals that we are. Undoubtedly, it is very easily to condemn a system because it does not work the way it does, but then we are all fallible human beings.

But what else can we do but complain? It is what we have been doing, it is what our whole culture is about. We are shaped by this influence into the people that we are today. Perhaps what we can do, is not to lament the fact that everything sucks. (cos it really does) It is just the same old thing being rehashed over and over again, the endless rhetoric about how lousy things are, and how we all yearn for a better life.

Rhetoric stays as rhetoric. Nobody will ever do anything, because they cant, and they wont. We are selfish creatures, merely concerned with the state of our own personal well being.

Like i told a friend one night before, i guess what you can do is, perhaps, choose alternatives to a bad situation. It may suck, but complaining solves nothing. A simple boycott and an import purchase is an action that speaks louder than a million letters and angry online posts.

S'pore to up number of varsity places

2007-08-12T11:22:00.000+08:00

By Keith Lin

THE Government is studying ways to increase the number of university places and whether to build a fourth university, Senior Minister Goh Chok Tong revealed yesterday.

The aim: to give more Singaporeans, especially polytechnic graduates, a chance to study at a university here.

Now, about one in four in each cohort receives a university education.

'We will up the percentage,' Mr Goh promised.

Speaking to about a thousand residents and grassroots leaders at a National Day dinner in his Marine Parade constituency last night, Mr Goh also pledged a stronger social safety net for those struggling to cope with changes in the economy.

Measures being studied include topping up the Central Provident Fund (CPF) accounts of lower-income senior citizens, securing higher returns on CPF savings and raising the retirement age, he said.

Prime Minister Lee Hsien Loong will discuss new ways to help Singaporeans work longer and build up their retirement savings during the National Day Rally next Sunday.

Mr Goh's announcement comes after several parents and students complained about the difficulty in securing places in the three local universities this year.

In June, Dr Tony Tan, who heads Singapore's high-powered International Academic Advisory Panel, suggested the setting up of a liberal arts college as one way to increase the number of university places.

If not for its decision to pull out in May, the University of New South Wales would have been the fourth university here, with a planned intake of 15,000 students by 2020.

Business administrator Elizabeth Moses, whose 18-year-old son is at a local polytechnic, said more local university places could save her the high cost of sending her son overseas.

'It's great news,' she said.

Turning to the outlook for Singapore as a whole, Mr Goh was upbeat, saying that 'our boat is now entering a favourable stretch of the journey'.

He cited several reasons for his confidence.

Economic restructuring was paying off and the economy was being upgraded.

The external outlook was also positive.

He said that the current turmoil in stock exchanges worldwide, sparked by problems in the United States mortgage market, was in his view 'temporary'.

On Singapore's other strengths, he said it was well plugged into the global economy and had a Government that thought long term and acted to solve problems.

It also has in place the unique practice of planned political leadership succession.

Mr Goh said that he was, however, also aware that some Singaporeans found it difficult to keep up with the fast pace of life or rising cost of living.

The Government would help them to cope better, he added.

He also called on those who had done well to share their wealth through acts of philanthropy, so as to 'give something back to the community on which their success has been built'.

................................................

A little too late for that now. I'm already in perth.

If we choose to stay overseas and not come back you can only blame urselves

And why not? Shorter working hours, cheaper cars, an easier way of life than livin it up in the concrete jungle only to come back to bring squealing kids to tuition and wrapping up the housework

Not to mention NS

Modernisation vs Heritage

2007-08-11T22:01:00.000+08:00

its no use dwelling on ancient history but the fact remains that where we are today is a result of our ancestors taking a gamble. a gamble to leave their homes and find a better life overseas. we are who we are today because of that gamble that they pulled off.

(i sound like an NE teacher now)

in a way we are where we are because of what they have done. it would not be otherwise

(i sound brainwashed)

therefore we should treasure what we have inherited from them

(i am sounding more and more creepy)

meaning- if you cant even recognise ur own dialect, or will not respect your roots, then you are not worthy of ur family name. blood is thicker than water. yeah sure it may be crude, yeah it may sound uncultured but hell! i am proud to be what i am and i am loving it. i lament the fact that even in my generation, such cultures are getting diluted in the wake of literacy, affluence and exposure to other influences. i will never be as fluent as others in my mother tongue and my dialect, that i am sad to admit. if that is so what is that saying of our future generations? if even the chinese language is seen as a bane to many people, then where are we headed?

not to mention traditional practices. if i were to go on it would never end. the neverending tirade against popular religion

patriotism

2007-08-09T16:33:00.000+08:00

one for the bengs

Fossils paint new picture of human evolution

2007-08-09T15:50:00.000+08:00

CHICAGO - AN ancient skull and upper jawbone from two early branches of the human family tree - Homo erectus and Homo habilis - suggest the early human ancestors may have lived close together for half a million years, researchers said on Wednesday.

The fossils, discovered in eastern Africa, challenge the understanding that humans evolved one after another like a line of dominoes, from ancient Homo habilis to Homo erectus and eventually to Homo sapiens, or modern people.

'There has been a view that has suggested habilis very slowly evolved into erectus,' said Susan Anton, a professor of anthropology at New York University. 'Now we have the two cohabitating, so that can no longer be the case.' The research, published in the journal Nature, was conducted by nine scientists including Prof Anton, paleontologist Meave Leakey and her daughter Louise Leakey, both explorers in residence at the National Geographic Society, and Fred Spoor of University College London.

Both fossils were found in 2000 east of Lake Turkana in Kenya as part of the Koobi Fora Research Project, which is affiliated with the National Museums of Kenya.

Their proximity suggests the two species used different food sources and behaviours to live so closely without becoming extinct.

'It's within two or three minutes walking distance,' said Patrick Gathogo, a doctoral candidate from the University of Utah who helped study the geological layers.

'They must have interacted with each other,' he said in a telephone interview.

Sister species
The upper jaw bone of Homo habilis dates from 1.44 million years ago, which is earlier than other known fossils of that species.

'The new fossil jaw suggests that Homo habilis was a sister species of Homo erectus, living at broadly the same time, rather than the mother species giving rise to it,' Mr Spoor said in a statement.

The second fossil, found in the same region of northern Kenya, is a well-preserved skull of Homo erectus, which dates from about 1.55 million years ago.

This fossil is striking because of its size. It is the smallest Homo erectus skull found so far and it paints a different picture of the species, suggesting more diversity than researchers had believed.

This diversity could mean that like gorillas, in which males have much larger skulls than females, Homo erectus might have exhibited sexual dimorphism, a primitive trait, the researchers said.

Reduced size differences between the sexes is typically considered a trait acquired during human evolution.

'It makes Homo erectus a bit less like us,' Prof Anton said.

Mr Spoor said all available evidence still suggests that Homo sapiens evolved from Homo erectus, a process that happened in Africa more than 1 million years ago.

He said it is likely the two species will have had a common ancestor living in Africa between 2 million and 3 million years ago. -- REUTERS

With so many scientific discoveries being made every day, i am positive that there will come a day when one's beliefs will come into question about the origin of human life. Hypothetically speaking,

What if there was overwhelming evidence that we evolved from a "lesser" lifeform?

What if what you discovered came into direct conflict with a belief that you have been holding on to your entire life?

Would you accept the truth or relinquish it in favour of your own religion?

That being said, would you even WANT to discover the truth if you knew the implications of it?

Would you rather live in denial and die according to how you want to live?

Looks like its not just Adam and Eve, but Roger and Bob, with neighbours Jessie and Melissa, poking in the primeval dirt of the African Garden of Eden? Interesting.

2007-08-06T21:06:00.000+08:00

i'm not going to try anymore

whats the use of even bothering about things

i care, but do others care?

no all there is is but a masquerade of perceptions about how people want to be seen as, not what they genuinely are

enjoy the silence

bleed yourself dry

shout ur successes to an empty theater

keep your tower high standards up

it will topple you, like babel

dialect is your identity- finding it crude is laughing at what you are made of

religion is not custom. respect it

与你到永久

2007-07-31T01:20:00.000+08:00

风儿轻轻的吹
雨也绵绵下个不停
望着走过的脚印
有崎岖有平静
看着你的眼睛
我最熟悉的表情
一路上有你
因为有了你
人生旅程不再冷清
迎着风
迎向远方的天空
路上也有艰难
也有那解脱
都走得从容
因为你是我
生命中的所有
将我的心放在你手中
陪你到永久
花儿开在雨中
雨水溅湿你的眼眸
怕我说得太晚
让你如此的承担
面对岁月的河
对你已经无法割舍
我是爱着你
深深爱着你
一首属于我俩的歌
迎着风
迎向远方的天空
路上也有艰难
也有那解脱
都走得从容
因为你是我
生命中的所有
将我的心放在你手中
陪你到永久
生命有了你
我已经无所求
将我的心放在你手中
陪你到永久
整个的心放在你手中
与你到永久

曲 : 伍佰
词 : 伍佰

What if..........

2007-07-30T00:51:00.000+08:00

yea what if..... what if it happened?

chances of it happening are a million to one but there is still a remote possibility

i mean seriously, being an 85 too is the only thing that connects us. or me to her, rather.

so! if i saw her on the street what would i do?

"hi im ur biggest fan."

nah too streotypical

"hi i think ur cute"

nah too blunt

"hi are you who i think you are?"

then again would i even be able to recognise her on the street?

jeez.

i love her voice

Last day of work

2007-06-21T01:55:00.000+08:00

Work ended today with a bang.

Unsuspectedly, at the start, Cherrilyn was around.

2 minutes later Alicia turned up.

3 Currie Hall people in one shop is a recipe for havoc and mayhem.

And so it was, with pies being cooked as if there was no tomorrow, and of course experimenting with all flavours, and concocting up our own unique pies to sample.

PANDEMONIUM AND CHAOS.

But undiluted fun. Not to mention a totally relaxed day of work.

frankensteinian acts in the kitchen

mutant pies

refusal to acknowledge guilt

Cherrilyn preparing the mutants

mutant pies completed

mini mutants and me

Pictures

2007-06-21T01:40:00.001+08:00

After opposite sex

pizza with isabel

dimsum with steff

after exam indulgence

yum cha

broadway pad thai

wilson, li shya, athena, weihao, donn, han

gaying is an integral part of casual photography

shiro RX7 a'la Ryosuke

more interesting signs

To You

2007-06-19T01:20:00.000+08:00

i saw an angel, of that i'm sure

Those who know this are few, but if you know this you will be thinking that im crazy. Yeah yeah, perhaps i think too much...........

she could see from my face, that i was F$%%^king high

Have you ever had the feeling of 'sparks flying'? When you look into someone's eyes and just, er.........

melt? explode? drown? ok whatever you like

I saw your face in a crowded place

Flipping through my camera made me think of her. I would think of a hundred possible scenarios, a hundred ways of getting to know her better, to share my thoughts, my world with her, but alas.

you're beautiful it's true

Memories are beautiful. As much as i regret at least trying to get to know her better, a friend of mine said something to me that i felt made sense. Would i really want to get to know her better? Or would it be better to preserve her memory as it is, as it has been, as it always will be, in this way? Isn't this perfect image of her the ideal thing to cling on to? What then, if i were to find out something about her that would disappoint me?

But its time to face the truth. I will never be with you

I guess thats what it will always be. A perfect memory of the perfect person. Etched forever in my mind, that is how she will be.

And i don't know what to do. Cos i'll never be with you.

How is one to define what emotion is? Is this what they call 'love at first sight'? If it isnt than i dont know what the term means anymore.

I loved you from the moment i set eyes on you and i will carry it with me forever. I might see you again, i might not. Would there be a difference? How could you possibly fathom that out there in the world there is someone who really likes you a damn lot? The answer is no. You would never remember me, and i might not even recognise you.

At the end of the day it is two things i cherish. You, and more importantly the memory of you. As striking as your beauty the memory will stay. For some time.

Reminiscing again

2007-06-19T01:04:00.000+08:00

My neighbour is flying off tomorrow morning. How time flies. It seems only yesterday that i was here in Currie all alone, before everybody flew in. Now the end of the semester draws near, and everybody is saying their goodbyes. As i discussed with Snappi yesterday night, i really wonder how much of this experience i will take back with me to Singapore, how many of these friends will really be relationships that will last. I wonder.

I flipped through the camera and saw images from months past. The bits that caught my attention were the pictures i took before, way before flying over.

I remember rushing like crazy on skates, dragging two weaklings along as we hunted almost futilely for treasure, but finally finding a treasure in one of the organisers, namely Ms J****.

I remember pigging out like crazy over all kinds food, and rushing like crazy to get my "book" printed before i flew off.

I remember photographing my brother as he dressed up in an insane costume, waving the house's chopper around like Freddy, Jason or Michael Myers.

I remember the tony tony chopper wallpaper on my workplace desktop, and the people who were constantly complaining. Sadly most of my ex colleagues have already left the organisation.

I miss so much of the life i used to have back in singapore. People may say that singapore is a small island, that there is pretty much nothing to do except food, movies, shopping and pool. The difference is in the company. One may have the world to yourself, but without the ones you love sharing it with you, it is nothing but a hollow conqueror's crown. On the other hand, being stuck on a small red dot with the ones who are closest to you can be an experience that cannot be replaced.

My mind's a mess. Nostalgia, dread and above all, longing.

A song going through my mind now...........

二分之一的爱情

喜欢雨中抱你紧紧的感觉
世界只有我们没有谁
希望可以拥你入睡的喜悦
天知道这是仅有的安慰
长长厮守的缠绵
以为是纷飞的错觉
害怕清醒的泪水
抹去所有你的画面
我知道这是二分之一的机会
你说爱他比我还要更多一些
我仍然愿意不顾一切
只因我真的真的不要这样分别
我知道这是二分之一的机会
感情不是真心就可以换得回
我真的真的害怕伤悲
爱你的心求你真的了解
我知道这是二分之一的机会
痴痴等你的心唤不回

歌手：周传雄

The difference between calling a cat neow or neko

2007-06-18T16:12:00.000+08:00

I shall illustrate my point with an illustrative analogy here:

Different languages have different ostensive definitions of what a cat is.

English- Cat
Chinese- 猫
Japanese- "neko"
Hokkien- "neow"

So, if i say: "You are a cat", it has the SAME meaning as "你是一只猫”

That getting cleared up, let me illustrate my main point.

I am currently pursuing a Bachelor of Arts course, majoring in Communication Studies.

1. Bachelor of Arts course, majoring in Communication Studies.

The locally offered course at NTU is a Bachelor of Communication Studies.

2. Bachelor of Communication Studies

Polytechnics in Singapore offer a Diploma Course in Mass Communications.

3. Diploma in Mass Communications.

Easy enough to understand?

Good.

Now inequalities. 1 and 2 are NOT EQUAL TO 3! Why the f#$% do people keep saying mass comm mass comm? GODDAMMIT. Mass comm mass comm. Mass comm mass comm. IT IS NOT THE SAME. NEOW=CAT BUT MASS COMM IS NOT COMMUNICATION STUDIES YOU NUMBSKULLED HICKS.

"Oh he's in mass comm"

"Oh you are in mass comm right"

"Hows mass comm? Easy or not?"

A DIPLOMA IS NOT EQUAL TO A DEGREE. IT IS NOT THE SAME.

How come people can distinguish between kopi and teh but cannot differntiate between MASS COMM and COMMUNICATION STUDIES? People know the difference between System 7 and Quick Pick but cannot make this simple distinction.

Furthermore, to the Japanese, the phrase is bastardized in meaning, used to denote THE PRESS. REPORTERS. So to the japanese- "mass comm"= reporters

Do i look like a F$%^KING reporter?

Pek chek.

To my friends!

2007-06-17T14:24:00.000+08:00

To those who have suffered at the hands of anonymous vandals making utterly insignificant comments on their blogs or tagboards.

I feel your pain. The previous post is dedicated to you all.

Stay true, express freely.

Cos pricks are all around.

Anonymity

2007-06-17T13:47:00.000+08:00

................is a spell you can cast on your troops in the online game UTOPIA to make your troops identity remain anonymous.

Which also translates as something that many individuals take for granted, in this age of obscurity, where it is so easy to hide behind a nick or simply a tag of "ANONYMOUS PERSON". or "SOMEONE WHO KNOWS YOU".

Well then, Mr/Ms Anonymous? Since you obviously KNOW ME, which is evident given that you know of my blog's existence, then why not post using your REAL name or nick? Why not be identified? If it is something that you are dissatisfied about why keep your feelings to yourself? Share it with the world! Why am i being ridiculous? Or Biased? Come on! Tell me LEH.

Tsk Tsk

Thats taking things for granted isnt it? Tagging like this and leaving comments on people's blog is basically making a statement, that which simply means you are wanting to attract attention to YOUR action, and you are in essence not accepting about ant possible reprisals to that action. In other words, you are saying that :

1- YOU have a right to post the comment
2- YOU do not want your identity to be found

Which tickles me. Why then, Mr/Ms Mysterious Individual, do you NOT want to be found? Especially if you "KNOW" the blogger? Are you afraid of living up to the responsibility of making such statements out of the blue, without any justification or argument?

As the chinese say- 敢做就敢当. Sheesh man. If you can use the Internet then i am under the assumption that you are at the bare minimum, capable of rational thought and some semblance of responsibility. Why not let us know who you are? Share your opinions wont ya? AWWWWW

You can't. You won't. You are very much satisfied with the level of "security" the internet gives you, isnt it? Please. To me you are just like a small kid nicking sweets from the pick and mix in the supermarket. Sneaky and utterly childish. IF you have the guts to post then have the guts to own up. If not then shut your bloody trap up because nobody needs childish responses and comments about what people's opinions are. Just the kind of individual you are isnt it? Goes to show what kind of upbringing a person has- utterly spineless and gutless. You can't even have the GUTS to express an opinion freely.

I mock your perversion of anonymity. I laugh at your incapability to live as a reasonable human being who dares to live up to the consequence of action and reaction.

Nobody's moral standards are perfect. Who are you to impose your moral standards on others?

Oh i am forgetting. DO you think that you are in a position to impose moral standards on anybody? Come on! Tell the world who you are and we can discuss this. If not you are just another faceless, gutless individual shouting out to be heard in a sea of noise. And nobody is paying attention to you, really.

Dare to post own up la. Pussy. Gutless. Spineless. Bo Ji. Hum ji. Useless.

I think self gratification would be a better way of spending your time instead of such petty trivialities. You sick fuck you.

That which is gone

2007-06-13T10:36:00.000+08:00

But a sliver of hope hangs in on
the repeated views of times past.
Shut is the door of ages ago
of which there was so much trust.
Despair drives one into the arms
of memory turned to dust.

I looked today, and what i found-
The corpse of a bright light that shone
It still clung on to the smoke and mirrors
of that which was gone

Somehow the present fails to achieve
Like water through a sieve
The strains of melody, the waves of hope
Are chilled in the wake of what once was.

As the days pass the emptiness swells
Time is but a measured unit
Of endless night and freezing day

I look forward but my eyes are blinded
Trying to run with feet binded
Trapped in the minotaur's maze of
that which is gone

colin2007

Geek gets chick

2007-06-11T22:20:00.000+08:00

Miss Universe covets US acting job

TOKYO - NEW Miss Universe Riyo Mori is hoping to land an acting job with the popular US-based TV show, 'Heroes'.

She is now back in her home country after winning the beauty pageant in Mexico City last month.

But Japan's newest star said she won't be able to savor her homecoming for long.

'I'm only here for a week, then it's back to New York' and a tour around the world, the 20-year-old dancer said in an interview on Monday.

Ms Riyo said she is hoping to devote herself to her new role and become a spokeswoman for AIDS issues.

She is also looking for a possible role on the TV series 'Heroes', which is aired by NBC.

The network has rights to the Miss Universe pageant.

Ms Riyo said her role would be 'Yaeko', a love interest for one of the main characters.

Her beauty pageant win caught Japan by surprise.

The only other time Japan has won the pageant was in 1959.

Then, Akiko Kojima became the first Miss Universe from Asia.

Ms Riyo said she was encouraged to enter the competition by her grandmother.

She intends to open a dance school after her year-long Miss Universe stint.

She has been dancing since she was four. -- AP

..............................................

Holy crap man. Masi Oka gets Miss Universe as a co star? Every man's dream come true!

Some guys have all the luck.

费玉清 is a monster

2007-06-11T15:56:00.000+08:00

Freaky person. Decades pass and his voice still retains its qualities. CREEPY

And the mtv to 千里之外. At 1.14 he suddenly pops put of the curtain and assaults us with his singing. You can almost hear him shout "surprise"!

Beware, the immortal maestro will suck ur blood dry!!!!

CIVIC CIVIC CIVIC

2007-06-10T11:52:00.000+08:00

the newspapers this morning was filled with killer deals.

Lancers ranging from 6k up. and at least from 97 onwards. OMG.

Not to mention the 94' civic going for 4500.

i am so tempted to rob a bank now. ARGH.

and an interesting deal- a second generation '96 Dodge Viper going for 150,000. Whopping price. But then again i have never seen one before except in pictures and shows. Talk about need for speed!

Mambo yo-ah-yo

2007-06-10T11:18:00.000+08:00

No smoking in clubs from first july! Wow. The economy must really be booming.

Which is really good. Don't see the point on smoking in clubs anyway.

Are cigs cool?

Or is it the act of puffing out stuff from your mouth?

Say i could like swallow some ice and puff out water vapour too!

I would be cool literally and figuratively!

So i say- distribute ice cubes for smokers to vapourise. Better still...MINT flavoured ice cubes. Or any other flavour for that matter. That way you can be sure of a clean taste whenever you french kiss that stranger. How cool is that?

I should market this- flavoured ice cubes to make urself look cool. A substitute for cigs.

Cant wait to go back and check out smoke free clubs.

Drunken cat prancing to banarama. Yea i could live with that.

Superhuman

2007-06-09T20:52:00.000+08:00

If you could have the ability to do anything what would the one thing be?

I like the idea of bending reality. Changing anything and everything.

But then after a while it wouldn't be fun anymore. Being omnipotent might become a pain in the ass and a bore.

I guess the most powerful ability, the one i would like most to have would be the power of persuasion. Imagine that. To make you do whatever i want you to do.

Beware! For i am powerful!

V V V V V

2007-06-07T10:31:00.000+08:00

Watched V for Vendetta again a few days ago. It still strikes me as potently as it did before.

Hugo Weaving does an excellent job of narrating V's lines, and he does the alliteration of the phonetic V words with such gusto and finesse that i am impressed all over again. Excellent. Although nowhere as good as the graphic novel itself, it is an adaptation that is commendable in its own right. My favourite quote from the film-

People should not be afraid of their governments- governments should be afraid of us.
-V

After all, is not government but a mechanism? Its the fundamental principle behind governing that it all boils down to- if government were not voted by the people in the first place, it would be impossible for governments to perform. It is something that governments should never forget, in the course of everything. We create you, we gave you life. Oppression and fear of expression should be the least of our worries, eh?

I read the various articles in the newspapers about varsity blues and this morning something struck me. Why feel so strongly about such a thing? It's not as if anything will change. If you read the dean of admissions' reply in the forum page today, you will find that it is a carbon copy of what anybody can find in any admission booklet or even on the admission website itself. He make no light of anything, but reiterating points which are already known to everybody, points itself that are being challenged.

Additionally, the selection process of some faculties, such as Medicine and Law, includes interviews for candidates shortlisted based on the UAS. Any 'S' papers or fourth or subsequent A-level subjects are not considered when computing the UAS.

Because of components such as General Paper and Project Work in the UAS, it is possible that a student with three As may not be admitted to a course of study while another with two As and a B may because of different performance levels in General Paper and Project Work.

-Associate Professor Tan Thiam Soon
Dean of Admissions
National University of Singapore

Well, he is just repeating himself, isnt he? Every A level student can tell that these 2 paragraphs are the 2 paragraphs of total BOLLOCKS. Not considering S papers?

MAI HAO SIAO LAH

It is so damn ridiculous that i want to laugh. Literally.

What is transparency? Here is one example of transparency. The Australian Admission system.
A level grades are considered on a scale of 5 to 1 points. An A, being 5 points, and an E, 1 point respectively. Thus, based on such a calculation of points- admission criteria are thus created from there. This allows for people to gauge themselves and to know where they stand. For example- how can you define who does better? a person who gets an ABC or a person who has BBB? using this method of calculation both of them score the same points. There is no such thing as 'preference because of an A', because both students' grades even themselves out.

Grats

2007-06-02T22:21:00.000+08:00

He got it.

NUS business sponsorship.

In response to all the recent hubbub about getting good grades and not being able to get into courses of choice, i use him as an absolute example.

He is not from a prestigious school

He does not even have perfect scores

He worked his ass off from secondary school all the way to JC, to his A's to give him the results that he has today. He has always been conscious of the fact that the cohort is a competitive one, and has worked hard bearing this in mind.

Somehow, when you see someone close to you succeed, its an overwhelming feeling of pride that that person is able to achieve what you can only dream of getting. The feeling is totally indescribable. You just feel---happy!

And it lightens the burden off my parents, the burden that I HAVE CREATED. Goddam man.

2 Pieces of News, 2 Cents- No 2

2007-06-02T19:40:00.001+08:00

Getting anime illegally online? Beware

Japanese animated cartoons distributor sending letters to culprits warning of legal action

By Chua Hian Hou

PRICES of anime DVDs here are the world's lowest, but fans of these Japanese animated cartoons prefer to get them online - for free.

Now they may land in the soup because a crackdown has been launched, and they are the targets for downloading these English-subtitled cartoons through file-sharing networks.

Local anime distributor Odex, which brings in the DVDs from Japan, has sent out letters to culprits it has identified as having downloaded these 'fansubs' using the Internet and peer-to-peer systems like BitTorrent.

'Fansubs' are the works subtitled by bilingual fans of anime as a service to the community of non-Japanese-speaking anime fans.

Odex spokesman Stephen Sing would not say how many legal letters have been issued.

A copy of one such letter obtained by The Straits Times announced that Odex would take legal action against the alleged downloader unless he settled the issue. Odex did not say what constituted a settlement.

The letter to this particular alleged downloader - a SingNet subscriber - came attached with a three-page listing of alleged downloads.

Mr Sing said that Odex, together with the Anti Video Piracy Association of Singapore, had no choice but to take legal action, because 'pirates' here download more anime files than any other country except the United States, which was 'ridiculous, considering our population'.

Anime fansubs, around since the 1980s, used to come in video cassettes, but the Internet and BitTorrent have made it cheap and easy to get hold of the cartoons.

An anime fan here, who declined to be named, said the community was downloading fansubs because original anime works were of poor quality and overpriced.

Mr Sing's counter: 'Perception problem.'

Focus groups, he said, have been unable to differentiate fansubs from its DVDs when played back on a 42-inch TV set.

Mr Sing added that on a per-DVD basis, prices here were the world's lowest, and that even when Odex bundled three DVDs for a $9.90 trial offer, fans did not bite.

In the US, the price of a two-DVD set costs between US$15 and US$20, depending on the anime title.

The anime fan was dismissive of the crackdown and said it would not stop fansub piracy. The community is tech-savvy and will find ways to continue downloading without getting caught, he said.

Under Singapore's Copyright Act, users found guilty of 'wilful' and 'significant' downloads face fines of up to $20,000 and up to six months behind bars.

The Act does not specify what constitutes a significant number of downloads.

..........................................................

An interesting article. We are seeing a repeat of history. It was like this with Napster, and now the crackdown is happening to Anime.

As it so happens, i was actually reading up on Napster last night, and while it remains a controversial issue, there is actually a bright spark. It may have led to the spread of music piracy and blatant online pilfering of music, but in the end there have also been bands who have benefited from it all. It was a platform for many unknown bands and seeming unpopular musicians to have an easy avenue to showcase their work. Certain bands have reported successes by utilising these file sharing networks to spread their music.

The irony with clamping down on japanese animation is this- its popularity in countries all around the world is at an all time high. Names like Naruto, One Piece and Bleach are well recognised as mainstream, popular anime. The success of these series is not only isolated to certain countries, it is a world wide phenomenon. With it, many companies have jumped on the marketing bandwagon and have considerable made lots of money through products like action figures, tody, the comic books themselves, and softcopy DVD's and VCD's of the various series. As far as these series have come, these series are considered to be a commercial success, as reflected by their popularity. This popularity is also not just confined to the younger audience- institutes of higher education have considered japanese animation itself to be a significant field of study, with respect to analysing screen cultures and their socio-cultural impacts.

But we must not forget the basis behind the success of these anime series. The very people who are responsible for bringing this phenomenon to the world, are those who have painstakingly taken their time to provide subtitles for the various series, and to distribute them over the internet. It is thru these downloads and fansubbing groups that anime has such a high appeal. To even crack down on such so called "illegally distributed" versions of japanese animation would be, in short, to bite the very hand that feeds you. Legal action is something every person dreads. If even watching animation in this way is considered illegal, then the ramifications of this will be a significantly lower fan base, and a definite decrease in popularity.

If ANBU and Anime-One did not perform their fansubs of Naruto, in all honesty it would not have been the commercial success that it is today. Neither would the chinese comic books becomes such a popular hit.

Face it, we are all human. No one wants to buy anime and come out disappointed. Downloading anime on a weekly basis is just akin to following the series itself as and when it is released in japan.

And lets not forget the fact that there has already been one crackdown so far on anime. Out of this, a list of licensed and unlicensed anime series have already been released. Why the sudden fuss now?

This situation has to be assessed. Most likely, there is something deeper behind this crackdown. Perhaps the problem lies internally- that local servers are finding the excessive downloads made by users a problem as it causes network congestion? One possible reason i can think of. Another possible reason? That there just isnt a market for buying so called "original" anime dvd's and vcd's.

What to do? No business to be made from selling "cheapest original dvd's and vcd's in the world even when compared to america", cannot cry woh. So call police bring the black and white in LOR

This is so typically Singaporean it disgusts me.

2 Pieces of News, 2 Cents- No 1

2007-06-02T19:33:00.001+08:00

Birth-swap Msian man files suit over religion

KUALA LUMPUR - A MALAYSIAN man mistakenly given to Muslim parents at birth has filed a claim to be legally recognised as a Buddhist, the New Straits Times reported on Saturday, amid an ongoing row over religious recognition.

Mr Zulhadi Omar, 29, was registered as a Malay Muslim at birth. But in an incredible chance meeting, an ethnic Chinese couple approached him in a shopping centre in February after noticing his similarity to his real father.

Mr Zulhadi said his lawyer had filed the suit on Friday after Malaysian authorities failed to respond to a written request for his name and religion to be changed on his birth certificate and identity card.

DNA tests have confirmed Zulhadi is the biological son of Teyo Ma Liong and Lim Sik Hai and not his registered Malay Muslim parents.

'On the day that I was born, a woman named Lim Sik Hai also gave birth to a baby boy at the same hospital,' The Star newspaper quoted Mr Zulhadi as saying.

'I was registered a Muslim based on an error at birth. I should have been named Eddie Teyo, son of Teyo Ma Liong and Lim Sik Hai, and a Buddhist.' The move follows the controversial refusal of Malaysia's top secular court to allow a woman who converted from Islam to be legally recognised as a Christian.

The court on Wednesday rejected a request by Lina Joy to have the word 'Islam' removed from her national identity card after her conversion, saying an Islamic, or sharia, court would first have to recognise her conversion.

Ethnic Malays are defined as Muslims from birth. Renouncing the faith is one of the gravest sins in Islam and is rarely allowed by Islamic authorities. -- AFP

The idea of an islamic state is interesting. In fact, the idea of having a religion as something national itself is an interesting idea. True enough, it may be a consensus of the majority of the country's population, but face it- in some ways it constitutes an absolute realization of what Mill describes as a "tyranny of the majority". Inevitably it is impossible to come to a universal agreement on beliefs. Beliefs are what differentiate us as humans just like fingerprints or our voices. To make everybody bound to popular belief, is to infringe on the very sanctity of our persona- to question how we think and act. If truly there is such a thing as benevolent governing, this should not be the case.

Moving out

2007-06-01T22:25:00.000+08:00

I cannot see myself living together with any of the blokes on this floor.

Somehow, if i sit at a damn table and i can count thirty seconds of absolute silence when conversation should very obviously be occurring, then there is no point in me making the extra effort. Everything looks peachy keen but i know it is different. I will never be able to tolerate living with any of these people under one roof. If that is the case, then why even make the effort to go further?

Moving out with other people will be so much better. I may hardly know them, but there are a few things i am sure of:

1- They will obviously consume less
2- They are obviously neater
3- Making concessions for them is easier
4- I can see myself making the effort to open up

F$%^ it man. I'm not moving out with any blokes. Period.

The definition of a friend

2007-06-01T22:14:00.000+08:00

I admit that at times i can be a very easygoing person. To me, most of the time 'anything goes'. It is also relatively easy to make me change my mind about a certain something. I dont give a shit about a lot of things but when things strike me they really hit me hard and my head goes all the way into it.

But seriously, actions speak louder than words.

How can i get to know a person better if i cannot get my ideas across?

How can i be friends with people who very obviously are not listening when they appear to?

In a nutshell, i think what summarises this f$%%king shebang is this narration between Marla and the Narrator from Fight Club:

The Narrator: When people think you are dying then they really really listen to you instead of just....

Marla: Instead of just waiting for their turn to speak.

I lent you my bowl. The only damn bowl i have. And you bloody mixed it up with the bowls in the dining room. Ok perhaps its only a BOWL, but it really goes to show how you treat me, how you view me as a person. You obviously do not have much respect for my belongings, so why the hell would you have respect for me as a person? Pfft.

I really want to cuss now.

I give up.

Song of the day

2007-05-31T21:50:00.000+08:00

one of my favourite Beatles tracks, this happens to be one of the few 'feel good' songs which never fail to cheer me up on a bad day.

Octopus's Garden

I'd like to be under the sea
In an octopus's garden in the shade
He'd let us in, knows where we've been
In his octopus's garden in the shade
I'd ask my friends to come and see
In an octopus's garden with me

I'd like to be under the sea
In an octopus's garden in the shade

We would be warm below the storm
In our little hideaway beneath the waves
Resting our head on the sea bed
In an octopus's garden near a cave
We would sing and dance around
because we know we can't be found
I'd like to be under the sea
In an octopus's garden in the shade

We would shout and swim about
The coral that lies beneath the waves
Oh what joy for every girl and boy
Knowing they're happy and they're safe
We would be so happy you and me
No one there to tell us what to do

I'd like to be under the sea
In an octopus's garden with you
in an octopus's garden with you
in an octopus's garden with you

Stuff

2007-05-30T20:51:00.000+08:00

A farewell dinner today for the leavers next sem. As this semester draws to a close, i cant help but feel a little jittery inside. As of next semester, i will be getting a new neighbour. I will also lose one kaki to watch movies on laptop with. I can't help but feel a little like how i felt before i left singapore. Funny isnt it?

Received the card today! THANKS A MILLION MABEL!!!!!

The card was written on the 5th of May and its the 30th today. One month to get a bleeding postcard from HK to WA. Snail mail indeed. But it was really delighting to actually get a postcard mailed to me. I guess in an age where E cards are available, and contact is so much easier thru the internet, we very often fail to notice the little, simple things in life that can be so small yet mean so much.

Fron sci fi to thriller to ghost story, i have finally decided on the piece i am to do for my Folio. Due tomorrow, an 1800 word piece! Damn.

The last tutorial

2007-05-29T17:13:00.000+08:00

No more tutorials! Only one more lecture to go before the end of school officially. Time flies.

Maybe its just human, but sometimes when i look at my grades and compare it to others, i cant help but feel a certain sense of dissatisfaction. Maybe it was the HD that i got for one essay that shook me- that i am capable of pulling this off, and the sheer fact that i am possibly not performing up to my own perceived standards just pisses the hell out of me.

80 for a phil essay! Goddam!

no more kidding around. i have been messing around too much. time to kick ass before a good one month's break.

starting today.

Screen Gripes

2007-05-26T23:11:00.000+08:00

Youngest idol ever?
Here its a never.

Fresh faces of comedy
Strive to entertain
But still, reruns!
I Change Channel With Pleasure
Cos Cartman's a bastard

Web swinging, slime dripping,
Bomb throwing, sand storming,
I get nothing!

A leaky ship,
A swaggering pirate.
Corsets and Singapore,
I see no shore!

Lousy screen, useless scene
Ten plus the price
Makes me think twice

You Broadcast Yourself
Images of narcissism
Wasting server space

You Broadcast Videos
The inappropriateness of subbing
Tell me Mr Tube
Teach me Japanese?

GODDAM GIVE ME MY SCREEN

colin2007

Oh no!

2007-05-26T23:06:00.000+08:00

May 26, 2007, 8.24 pm
Contact lens solution off the shelves again

FOR the second time in seven months, Advanced Medical Optics (AMO) is voluntarily withdrawing batches of its contact lens solutions from shelves worldwide.

This time, AMO's multipurpose solution, called Complete Moistureplus, is being recalled as a precautionary measure following concerns over eye infections caused by a water-borne organism which can contribute to a rare but serious corneal infection.

In the previous recall last November, more than 15,000 bottles of its contact lens solution were withdrawn following the discovery that some of the solutions made in China were contaminated, also due to a water-borne organism.

Interviews with 46 patients with the eye infection in the United States revealed that 21 of them had used the Complete Moistureplus solution.

The U.S. Centers for Disease Control and Prevention (CDC), which conducted the interviews, estimated that those who used AMO's Complete Moistureplus had at least seven times greater risk of developing the eye infection.

Symptoms of this rare infection are very similar to that of common eye infections and can last several months . But eventually, it will lead to severe pain and possibly, blindness as well.

The organism causing the infection, called Acanthamoeba, is commonly found in water, soil, sewage systems and ventilation systems.

The Health Sciences Authority on Saturday asked users of these products who experience 'redness, pain, tearing, increased light sensitivity, blurry vision, discharge or swelling' to have their eyes checked by an ophthalmologist.

WE-WILL-CAUSE-YOUR-EYEBALLS-TO-ROT!

Hurhur...we will make you go blind as a result of your vanity! (evil laugh)

Tee hee tee hee...beware! All corneas and irises take up arms! All eyeballs get ready!

We will blind you with bug infected solution made with cheap labour!

And the doctors get more business............

Where does my heart beat now?

2007-05-26T21:26:00.000+08:00

Celine Dion

So much to believe in - We were lost in time
Everything I needed
I feel in your eyes
Always tought of keepin-
Your heart next to mine
But now that seems so far away
Don't know how love could leave
Without a trace
Where do silent hearts go?

Where does my heart beat now
Where is the sound
That only echoes through the night
Where does my heart beat now
I can't live without
Without feeling it inside
Where do all the lonely hearts go

Candle in the water - Drifting helplessly
Hiding from the thunder-
Come and rescue me
Driven by hunger -
Of the endless dream

I'm searching for the hand that I can hold
I'm reaching for the arms that let me know
Where do silent hearts go?

Where does my heart beat now
Where is the sound
That only echoes through the night
Where does my heart beat now
I can't live without
Without feeling it inside
Where do all the lonely hearts go
Where do all the lonely hearts go

Then one touch overcomes the silence
Love still survives
Two hearts needing one another
Give me wings to fly

Where does my heart beat now
Where is the sound
That only echoes through the night
Where does my heart beat now
I can't live without
Without feeling it inside

I've got someone to give my heart to
Feel it getting stronger and stronger
And stronger
And I feel inside

Hearts are made to last
Till the end of time

What i will miss

2007-05-25T17:06:00.001+08:00

ill miss a lot of things when i go back to singapore! here is a non exhaustive list:

1- The nice cold weather
2- excellent Broadway Pizza (canadian and pizza hut can kiss my ass)
3- Southpark
4- Balls of Steel
5- Futurama
7- Pingpong after dinner
8- MY OWN DAMN ROOM!

UNSW Asia chickens out

2007-05-25T15:39:00.000+08:00

Several months agso, before coming over to perth:

A glowing sign at the 77 bus stop makes me take a second look at the advertisement. It is actually an advert promoting UNSW Asia as it unveils its Singapore campus. I dont think much of it because 1-they rejected my application, and 2- whats the diff b/w studying there and at SIM?

Yesterday night:

UNSW pulls out of Singapore. After a mere few months of fulltime school.

This case is a good example of the basis for which higher education in the world today functions- it is a commodity. Lets face it- international students pay much much more than locals do for tertiary education, be in in singapore or otherwise. There is a running joke, that 3/4 of a lecture theatre chair belongs to internationals, and that locals can only lay claim to 1/4 of it because that is the proportion of money that goes into it. Ok a bad joke.

One must look back and see then, the purpose behind it all. At the end of the day, universities function just like private companies- this is the way of the world, and they cannot be blamed for that. Who does not want to have a larger paycheck? It is only common sense. Therefore one way by which revenue can be brought in is accepting more international students. And if they can afford it, and are able to perform to a certain extent, why not?

Perks of having more international students:

1- "Diversity" - (highly overstated and in my opinion totally bullshit)
2- Income Contribution- (bigger paychecks, who dosent love them?)
3- Higher Standards of education- (to keep the locals on their toes- meaning locals have no chance at all of getting first class honours)

Sounds like a good deal, dosent it? Factor 2 is perhaps the most realistic of the three factors, and probably the most excusable. But 1 and 3?

2 is the main factor, the main motivation behind offshore ventures by universities, and the search for foreign talent to fill up places in universities. At the end of the day it all boils down to a single factor- the cash. As long as it brings money in, why not? This is a sad truth of how institutes of higher education operate, and this is prevalent all over the world. Except maybe the really top universities such as Harvard and Oxford.

It is sad to see how realistic the situation has become. Money is what drives education, and it has moved further and further away from the basic ideal, the basic reason for the existence of education- to nurture and teach students in the pursuit of higher learning. As for social issues such as the domination of foreign talent, who gives a shit? As long as the professors are happy with pay rises who actually gives a damn about the quality of grads that go into the workforce and whether they will contribute to a country's economy in the long run?

It's all about money. Period. Not making money, pull out. Just like investments, one pulls out when one cannot afford the element of risk.

Just like investments. NOT education, mind you, but investments. Education as an economic instrument. Not the ministry of education stepping in but the economic development board. Because it is what it is- a money tree in its entirety.

Scary

2007-05-25T15:34:00.000+08:00

May 24, 2007

Girl stabbed parents in religion row

SYDNEY - A TEENAGE girl who wanted to convert from Islam to Christianity stabbed her parents after blindfolding them on the pretext of presenting surprise gifts, an Australian court heard.

The girl's mother died in the attack - during which 17-year-old Kaihana Tahseen Hussain shouted 'Die both of you now' - her father told Southport Magistrates Court.

Bangladesh-born Muhammad Hussain, 49, said that after he and his wife were blindfolded in their bedroom, he felt something penetrate his stomach, followed by the warm sensation of blood flowing from the wound.

'Then she told me: 'This is your surprise,'' he said.

Mr Hussain said the attack came two days after his wife and daughter had returned from a trip to Bangladesh and during the Islamic observance of Ramadan, the national AAP news agency reported.

He told the court he heard his wife say: 'Tahseen has stabbed me. She was screaming: 'I'm dying' in Bengali.'

The girl twice shouted 'Die both of you now' - once in English and a second time in Bengali, Mr Hussain said.

'In response, I told her: 'What mistake we have done for us to die?''

Disorientated and losing blood, Mr Hussain said he went for help outside, struggling in the process with his daughter as he went to open the front door.

Under cross-examination by defence lawyer Dennis Lynch, Mr Hussain said he was 'very angry' his daughter planned to convert from Islam to Christianity and disapproved of her relationship with an Australian university student.

The teenager frequently broke down in tears while her father gave evidence.

The hearing to decide whether she should face trial will resume in October. -- AFP

Drawing the line

2007-05-24T20:43:00.000+08:00

three lines that summarise the gist of the argument:

Is there a common definition for the term 'God'?

Can anyone give a definition of God that is acceptable to all?

The answer, as obvious as it seems, is a resounding 'no'

Politics revolves around the key notion of representation. That a governing body is representative of the various interests of a country and the country's peoples. Even if a particular country has a particular 'main religion', such as Thailand, it should be carefully abstained from. Sadly, this situation has a far larger impact than to be simply put, if 'excluded' is so easy a word. Religion is very much the reason why the middle east is engulfed in endless conflict and destruction. There, we see the fruits of bringing religion into politics. IF we are to avoid such a thing from happening, then the lines should be clearly drawn. Religion cannot be allowed to seep into any aspect of our lives other than the personal.

I remember reading a blog somewhere how this person just could not seem to understand the whole process of burning joss paper and joss sticks, that it was a pointless affair and that person was unable to reconcile with the idea. Well, i cant reconcile with your beliefs either. Six years and i still don't get it. And i never will. I dont want to.

Revisiting a debate

2007-05-24T20:37:00.000+08:00

From the ST Forum today:

Religion must not be allowed to creep into or influence politics

THIS question, 'Is there a place for God in public morals debate?' appears as the headline of the article written by Ms Chua Mui Hoong (ST, May 18).

The answer, in my opinion, has already been made clear in several areas of her arguments; for instance, her viewpoints expressed in the following paragraphs:

'Those who want to advance public discussion must make use of public reason, and put up public justifications for what they believe in.

'Most important of all, it requires a willingness to consider that one's private morality, based on one's own religious beliefs, need not be the basis of public law.'

Singapore may be 85 per cent theistic, but we need to understand that religion, any religion, is just a belief system, privy to the individual(s) concerned.

Is there a common definition for the term 'God'?

Can anyone give a definition of God that is acceptable to all?

The answer, as obvious as it seems, is a resounding 'no'.

'Does God exist?' is a question that has gone through extensive debate over the years with the jury still being out.

Can anyone argue that religion is the reason for our morality?

I found myself agreeing with American author Sam Harris when he said in a commentary he wrote that was published in the Los Angeles Times and republished subsequently in The Straits Times:

'If a person doesn't understand that cruelty is wrong, he won't discover this by reading the Bible or the Quran - as these books are bursting with celebrations of cruelty, both human and divine. We do not get our morality from religion. We decide what is good in our good books by recourse to moral intuitions that are (at some level) hard-wired in us and that have been refined by thousands of years of thinking about the causes and possibilities of human happiness.

'We have made considerable moral progress over the years, and we didn't make this progress by reading the Bible or the Quran more closely. Both books condone the practice of slavery - and yet every civilised human being now recognises that slavery is an abomination.

'Whatever is good in scripture - like the golden rule - can be valued for its ethical wisdom without our believing that it was handed down to us by the creator of the universe.'

The views expressed by Harris appear to reflect those of Dr Yaron Brook of the Ayn Rand Institute who allegedly said:

'The idea that morality is impossible without faith in God must be challenged. It implies that man has no reason or purpose to be moral; it implies that no rational standard of morality is possible; it implies that in questions of morality man must suspend reason and blindly submit to faith or blindly obey some authority's 'revelations' or 'mystical insights.' To imply that we have no earthly reason to be moral is profoundly immoral. The purpose of morality is to discover and teach the principles that lead to life, achievement, happiness, success, joy. There is only one means to discover and understand these principles: reason. A proper morality, one for living on earth, requires rationality and independence of soul, not faith and obedience to self-appointed interpreters of an alleged omnipotent being. A proper morality looks not to the supernatural but at man's nature and the reason why he needs values - and then defines the values he must reach and the virtues he must practice to reach them. Properly understood, not only does morality not require faith in God - morality is incompatible with faith in God. The moral is the rationally accepted and chosen, not the mindlessly believed and followed.'

In a multicultural society - Singapore is a prime example - religion must never, ever be allowed to creep into or influence politics.

We would be going down a dangerous path should we ever allow that to happen.

History is replete with destructive events resulting from politics playing second fiddle to religion, or from religion playing a crucial role in the lives of politicians.

Richard Woo Khiah Cheng

Muses

2007-05-22T20:42:00.000+08:00

It always feels good to call back home. A smile never fails to escape my lips when i put the phone down. Time flies, and it is going to be home home home. One semester nearly down! Which also means its only three weeks more to the exams. Ouch. Critical Thinking is going to kill me. And my last paper is on the 21st. How shitty. I plan to play it low key here. Lets see who really gives a shit.

people cannot gain anything without sacrificing anything
-law of equivalent exchange

Exhaustion

2007-05-20T11:19:00.000+08:00

Slept for nearly half a day. Completely exhausted after yesterdays' surfing trip. Now my muscles are aching like crazy and im feeling the effects of sunburn. But it was cool.

For a first i am experiencing the perks of being a writer. And im lovin it.

Here are some pics from the fremantle trip!

On the jetboat at fremantle

view of the harbour from the jetboat

all geared up for the ride!

coffee power! awesome stall at fremantle

totally princessy here

At Bungee West

Fight Club

2007-05-20T10:43:00.000+08:00

Its actually been some days since i caught the show, but the impression is so lasting that i just have to blog about it.

I actually planned to watch the show some time ago, but due to some unforseen circumstances i simply did not. Recently though, i managed to get the show from one of the blokes down the hall. Ended up watching it with Isabel a few nights ago, and i must say the show is simply amazing.

Fight Club is based on a book by Chuck Palahinuk. His other work, Survivor, is one of the texts covered in one of my English units, thus i am able to relate to the content of the movie better than i would have had i not read that novel. Chuck's writing adopts a very gritty, down to earth style, reflecting the bitterness of life and a certain frustration with life in general. His is a carciature of everything that is classified as a stereotypical life- of boredom, or of excessive consumption for that matter. He insinuates anarchy into his writing that is justified, a solution to the problems that plague our world today. And he insinuates it with both flair and gusto.

There is so much black humor in the show i was laughing till i nearly cried. Anybody remember Mambo Happy Feet? He makes a cameo appearance!

What about the scene where the narrator describes Tyler's job? Hillarious

Another thing i liked about the movie- some of the quotes are simply mind blowing. Simple, yet they got me thinking. These are my favourite:

The Narrator: When people think you are dying then they really really listen to you
instead of just....

Marla: Instead of just waiting for their turn to speak.

Tyler: All the ways you wish you could be- thats me. I look like you wana look, i fuck like you wana fuck, i am smart, capable, and most importantly i am free in all the ways you were not.

Colin the bitch

2007-05-15T20:30:00.000+08:00

literally and figuratively

Another one bites the dust. A casualty of this thing called 'inability to adapt'. Off to the airport for the nine o clock flight back to Singapore. Back into her comfort zone of chicken rice and late night shopping. An experience some people would die for, yet she chooses to turn her back on it all. How very Singaporean.

It is really fast. Slightly more than a month and ill be back. How time flies. Before i forget, i should make a small list of things to do when i go back to Singapore.

1- Buy portable HDD
2- Buy lappie case
3- Check jumbo box pricing and rates
4- Buy texts
5- Stationery
6- handphone screen protector

shall update the list as it goes on, but so far thats it.

Finally finished a major project and a major essay. Almost getting there! Shall devote this week to concentrating on my magazine write ups. After that its full speed ahead to the exams....

A friend asked me today if i still want to move out of Currie next semester. And frankly im undecided. I have been rather settled in, but yet i prefer the freedom of exploring and cooking your own meals. Never felt that such a decision would be so hard to make. This might be my only chance at getting decent people to move out, but i cannot make up my bleddy mind. Shall see where the wind blows.

Since working on the project with the others, ive had a sense of purpose what i have never had so far. I think i thrive on stress. I think stress is what i need to keep my wheels greased, to maintain the standards. Even if it has to be self induced mental stress. Its crazy but things seem to work better for me that way. Perhaps it works because i am just plain lazy. Yes i think that would be it.

80's music

2007-05-15T17:09:00.000+08:00

i just cant get enough

The sounds of the 80's are just so recognisable. The very style of those tunes take on a form that is unique and is totally impossible to replicate. This is one hit which has powerful, invoking lyrics....

although...the dance moves are totally out of this world. Kind of reminds me of Zouk Mambo.

Tears For Fears- Mad World

All around me are familiar faces
Worn out places
Worn out faces

Bright and early for the daily races
Going nowhere
Going nowhere

Their tears are filling up their glasses
No expression
No expression

Hide my head I want to drown my sorrow
No tomorrow
No tomorrow

And I find it kind of funny
I find it kind of sad
The dreams in which I’m dying
Are the best I’ve ever had
I find it hard to tell you
I find it hard to take
When people run in circles
It’s a very very
Mad world
Mad world

Children waiting for the day they feel good
Happy birthday
Happy birthday

and to feel the way that every child should
Sit and listen
Sit and listen

Went to school and I was very nervous
No one knew me
No one knew me

Hello teacher tell me what’s my lesson
Look right through me
Look right through me

Bohemian Rhapsody

2007-05-13T01:16:00.000+08:00

One of the greatest songs ever written. Reflecting the sheer brilliance of the creative power of man. Not to mention that Freddie Mercury's voice is one of the most powerful ever for a male vocalist.

Been addicted to this song recently, for some funny reasons. It never fails to put a smile onto my face. The hard rock portion at 4.06 is perfect for just shouting along, and the very strains of that section can be mistaken for a modern day rock ballad even though this song was written in the seventies. It shows how much of an influence Queen has had on the genre we know as rock music.

Pity such talent has been lost. Lost to the swaggering, hip hopping black gangstas and their homies. Tsk.

Interesting Perth

2007-05-13T00:45:00.000+08:00

Bus vandals dont limit themselves to 'suck my cock' and 'call for sex'.
Vandals today have a sense of ironic humor.

DNA kits on buses! Poor Mr Ah Beng.......

Solution to Singapore's drink driving problem

Thats my classmate there- in white behind my tutor in blue!

B200's floor outing at Burswood

Juxtaposition- I cant seem to take any normal pictures

Busy week

2007-05-12T23:51:00.000+08:00

Been a really eventful and busy week for me. Major essay and project due on monday so it has been really taxing these few days. But the funny thing is i like it that way. Some might say its crazy but the fact that theres something to accomplish seems to make everything fall into place.

I finally found work! Its at a pie joint down along Hampden road called Jesters Pies, and my first day at work was pretty fun. Isnt it always like that? First days? At the least, its better than working at Acidbar. No smoke, no odd hours. And time passes crazily fast.

Met an old acquaintance for lunch, another ex colleague of my mum's who i have not seen for more than a decade. A decade. Makes me sound old dosent it? Couldnt even remember how she looked like- impressions are so fleeting when you are young.

Opposite Sex on Friday night was a really interesting experience. My first ever themed party and it was totally CRAZY. Made me see just how hard people here can party compared to back home. Of course, the excessive drinking is something every body frowns on, but as far as having fun is concerned, Singaporeans really need to, like they say in the army-

WAKE UP THEIR BLOODY IDEA

Its only over here that i actually experience a different dimension of fun altogether. Fun can come without getting inebriated and puking all over. Fun can come in crowds no matter how small or big. It's the whole notion of knowing how to distinguish fun from everything else that makes Singaporeans such sticklers for tradition and comfort. Learning to let one's hair down when it is time to let one's hair down is one thing sg people really need to pick up from westerners.

Shape up, you pricks. Get out of that turtle shell comfort zone. Stop using cliches like 'i dont do that', 'no time', 'must study' and 'never man'. The world is so bleedy big that theres so much to experience.

Speaking of which the party itself was totally insane. If i am to go into a position of authority in decades to come the pictures taken can DEFINITELY be used to blackmail me. Bring it on. YOu probably dont have the guts to do it like i did anyway!

Spent most of my saturday working on the hypertext project. twenty odd pages of web pages on the topic. It's only after i stopped working on it this evening that i realised that i have been working like a demon at the whole, fanatically dishing out stuff after stuff. And i seem strangely tolerant of uncooperative group members. Somehow nothing seemed able to affect me as i poured over the site these few days. I suppose it all comes back to the age old adage-

If you enjoy what you do you will never work a day in your life

The action is picking up. Cant wait to go surfing and jetboating next week! Whoo Hoo!!!

Ahh the perks of being a writer.....................

Dryness

2007-05-02T21:20:00.000+08:00

9.30 on a wednesday night. By all intents and purposes i ought to be excited. The weekend is already halfway here. Somehow there is this element of hollowness that keeps bugging at the back of my head. As if there is something missing, something lacking in everything. Like everything there is is just so hollow and empty, lacking real substance and form. These thoughts are disturbing.

Inspirational block

2007-04-30T19:34:00.000+08:00

Inspiration has been running dry recently. Inspiration has been running dry, and i seem to be favouring more of descriptive work rather than poetry. Changing tastes?

And the real problem i seem to have with myself is that i "tzer buay tiao". I cannot sit down and pen a complete piece of work in its entirety. It is part of the reason why i express myself using poetry- i am essentially lazy to write a whole piece. I have an inability to look beyond describing an event or two to craft a complete piece of writing. And this is a major problem. It seems that my laziness transcends more than just physical laziness. Mental laziness is a big problem. I need to cut with the catnaps and game breaks.

I just started watching Full Metal Alchemist yesterday. A series that has been ongoing for almost eternity and completed, but i have only just begun to watch. Just two single episodes and i am hooked. Having caught snippets here and there from my brother's viewing of the series back home, i was surprised that the narrative of the series uses a different approach from the typical direct narrative. It inserts us into the middle of the action, before relating to us the protagonists' origins and past. There are also very interesting themes brought out in the anime. The conflict between religion and science, for example, is a theme that is featured strongly in the series. The questions and taboos of playing god are brought out as well as issues of faith vs reality. Very interesting indeed.

A conversation with a friend some time ago made me realise some things. I have been living too much with the notions of going back home and missing Singaporean food, and other concerns that i am missing out on something. The reality of the present. And i guess it is very true. While we should always have goals and aims for ourselves, we should never never neglect the reality that is right in front of our eyes. We should never take for granted what what we have, at any given moment in time. That is why i will not stop whining about missing home and live in the present. To enjoy what it is that there is here and to make to most out of the experience. Ultimately i know i will have to go home- that is where i belong with friends, family (and of course food). But to deny the existence of the present will be to deny everything that has led to this moment.

But i am still not going to do a bungee jump!

Local students lose out when places go to foreigners in our varsities

2007-04-27T15:57:00.000+08:00

Wrote in two days ago to the ST Forum, and my letter was published today in the online forum.

The link has expired, so here it is.

This article can probably be considered a censored follow up to the previous blog post.