Missing Home

I think the song that summarises my feelings at this point would inarguably be Home by Buble. Its lyrics are just so simple and yet ring with a message that shoots itself straight to my heart and really makes me feel the lyrics just pour into, and fill me.

It does not help that i have access to the Straits Times from where i am now. Reading about the local news back home only creates an invisible barrier between life back home and the life i am having here. After talking to an old friend in the dining hall i shocked myself by admitting that i have had twenty one meals in Currie Hall for the past week. I feel, in some ways, trapped and isolated from the world within this seemingly utopian microcosm of familiarity and closeness. It is a vague closeness, as i do not really feel any kinship or longstanding relations with anything here. Strange, that i should muse about this.

The man speaks of some issues which i find particularly interesting. The first, is his justification of the recent ministers' pay hikes. Indeed, it may be justified as an attempt to stem corruption. Indeed it might be justified that it is for the purpose of rewarding those who have stayed behind and toiled for the country. But the basis for this is questionable. The very purpose of government is to lend a listening ear for the people. A body of government is one that represents the people. By focusing on rewarding those in power by way of monetary incentive, the focus has drifted away from the collective good, to detract into the support of a socially and economically formidable upper class. The emphasis has already drifted away from the necessity of government! By focusing on a singular group of individuals, a distinction has been created that justifies the use of an action such as a pay increment. If a reward has to be credited, then it should be something that is uniformly distributed among all members of the ruling class, right down to the tiniest administrative assistant in the public service.

As far as migration and going overseas is concerned, inevitably, the choice ultimately rests with the individual, whether to stay or to 'quit'. As a singaporean studying overseas i have seen many students here. There are some who are scholars, individuals who have achieved academic excellence and are here to pursue a different approach to education than that back home. At the other end of the spectrum are individuals such as myself, those who have been rejected by the system back home to find an alternative here. I personally applied for three years, and appealed at least one every year, (two times last year) and painstakingly spent hours crafting letters and even hand delivered my documents to the various Deans so that my applications may be further looked at. Thrice i applied, thrice i was denied. Such an experience has dulled my expectations and made me reflect on the realism of the system. Why live in a delusion? Accept the alternative. And this trend will continue to carry on, for generations to come.

Ultimately, with rising trends in education, there will inevitably be an increment in the number of degree holders in singapore. This is illustrated by the supposed dubbing of SIM as a 'fourth university'. The dragon batch of children will create an unprecedented surge in university intake. I am confident that most local universities will not be able to accept plenty of students into their hallowed grounds by virtue of their academics. A sad but realistic truth. This will make more students turn to an overseas education as an alternative. In some people's words, these are those that 'cannot make it back home'. Say what you like, but the fact remains that the system is killing itself. Unhealthy competitiveness, coupled with the dubious admission policies of local universities, create a bubbling pot of seething unhapiness that is manifested in the eyes of those who 'cannot make it'. The end product is that of a powerfully ordained and highly educated elite. Of which many harbor intentions to actually migrate. Thus the situation loops back in itself in a neverending cycle like an ouroboros.



The second comment made by the man as rather interesting. It revolved around the notions of being more pragmatic and accepting things such as censorship and homosexuality in singaporean society. I cannot agree with his words any more. These comments resound with some letters i read a few days ago in the Forum, about certain issues. On the 17th, a certain Ms Rahman wrote in to the Forum to comment on the unsuitability of a certain programme being aired on Channel 8. A HK show called Nude Fear, it seemingly contained elements that were demeaning and blatantly misogynistic. A show screened at 1 am.

What then, defines a programme as inappropriate? If we were to look at every show from our own personal point of view, it is justified to say that we can take offense at practically everything. Who is she to comment that this show is lacking in quality? With such simplistic and shallow minded views, it is no wonder that MM brings up issues like gradual pragmatism. There are still a great many individuals out there who adopt very traditional and straitlaced mindsets as far as such issues go. Is it not sufficient for a film to be censored? Is it not enough for a film to be shown at a late night timeslot? Such narrow minded thoughts reflect a failure. Failure for this woman to actually realise that there are individuals out there who might, quite possibly, consider such a show as a form of entertainment. Demeaning to some, but entertaining to others. In any case, there is always the option of switching off the television. If even such shows need to be censored further, then the whole basis of censorship should be called into question. Why screen brokeback mountain in singapore when some people might take offense at it?

For an individual to make such comments, i think, undoubtedly, the big R word has something to do with it. Ah, the ever powerful influence of opinion. Tsk Tsk.

Another letter in the forum also addressed the question. What does it mean to be singaporean? I shall start a new post about it. This post is way too long.