Friends, nakama, friendship

yew ish my goot brudder.
even ur bak chew O BA KA
or ur bin KANNA SAI
yew still my brudder.

-unknown forwarded sms greeting


So the issue comes up again. After a few months, the people in hall have all drifted into cliques. Typical of singaporeans. Like it was a while back, i looked at the people around me and thought to myself- how many of these people will i actually be in contact with in ten years time? Whats the point of being peachy keen and maintaining the friendlies when i know nobody genuinely gives a shit?

But its true. The guys are desperate losers, the girls lack any semblance of EQ and everybody here just cares about themselves really. Which is kind of sad because you wonder really what the word friend entails. I prefer the word 'person' or 'acquaintance'. It makes the line between people more defined.

Then again i have never hoped for anything, have never expected anything from anyone. If i ever felt unhappy, ive come to reflect that it has all been because of me putting too much trust and emphasis on the way people would look at me as a friend, and that has been grossly overestimated. Those who i genuinely gave a shit about dont even care or are just simply oblivious to everything. But as it is with life its worth taking a pinch of salt with and moving on.

Thus i offer a solution to emotional problems. To relationship problems. And let me provide an analogy.

In Mahjong, technically speaking, the dealer has the first advantage over the other players, by virtue of the fact that he draws one extra tile. But then what if he keeps getting shitty draws? He might have to depend on someone else to provide him with the tiles needed to win- IE a chi or a pon. What is nobody's that charitable?

So at the end of the day, the most powerful driving factor behind winning a mahjong hand is not the cards that come out. Sure, you are able to stall opponents winning hands by use of observation and pure skill, but these mean nothing if......

you get draws that are powerful. In short, people would say that ur 'luck is good'. The phrase i use for this is that one should always 靠自己. Depend on urself to win. Dont expect that the 5 pairs in your hand will become that 对对+混一色+ 1台 = 满台 that you are so wishing to get. What if nobody feeds you the pairs. Now, if you change that hand to a hand that is composed of kongs/kans, how much more ideal!

At the end of the day, one should always depend on his own draws. Do not expect the player in front of you to give you the tile needed to complete that 1-3 wait or 9-8 single wait.

Likewise, in life, as it is in relationships, do not depend on others and bank on their reactions and their actions. Its not a worthy investment. There are no guaranteed returns and each deposit carries with it a high risk of failure. Depending on yourself is the surest way you can ensure that your investment caries with it the maximum risk protection.

Cos if you dont give a shit about urself who will?

(Nah, actually i know of others who WILL give a shit. But theyre not here in perth. So ill have to depend on myself to draw that last card needed to complete my 十三么。 )